Improve Your Cycling Performance
With an eye towards the upcoming road season, I've been thinking about ways to improve cycling performance. Here is a list of things to do that will dramatically improve your racing speed. Some of these might not be necessary to do during indoor training, but are worthwhile to keep in mind as we move outside in the Spring. If you follow all the recommendations below, you will be so much faster that you could conceivably forego a significant portion of your training and still be faster. So here is my list, if you have any comments, please post them:
- Shave your legs. You will notice instant speed gains. Just think how much easier it will be when all that long hair doesn't pull on you when you are trying to go hard. Also, you will look like a pro and intimidate the competition.
- Get an aero seat post. Clearly this will give you a significant aerodynamic advantage. Ask the Devil for details.
- Always ride as hard as you can. You want to get all you can out of training. If you get tired, that must mean you're not in shape. Go even harder.
- Get a rearward facing mirror. This will allow you to always keep facing forward and therefore dramactically reduce the frictional losses incurred upon exposing the broad side of the helmet to the wind.
- Buy the most expensive bike you can possibly afford. More expensive is always better. Titanium or carbon frames are key. Don't get caught having to admit that your wheelset was less than a thousand bucks.
- Eat as much as you can possibly tolerate. Preferably carbohydrates and fats. Weight gains will make you stronger as you have to work harder just to get around. Also, you will be a much fast descender.
- Use only titanium skewers. They are the most expensive (see 4.).
- Never wash your cycling clothes. Natural body fats will make the fabric smoother and reduce drag. Also, the competition will notice the smell and recognize that you train very hard, which will intimidate them.
- Always ride in the biggest gear you have. Pros ride up hills in big rings, so you should too. After all, this is bike racing, not a picknick.
- Don't ever listen to other riders' suggestions. Eventually, they are going to be riding against you, and they know it. Thus, they're just trying to trick you and keep you down.
posted by UMCT at 3:36 PM
2 Comments:
Yea! Yea! Bang Bang Bang Bang!!!! Wooo Hooo! Yea!! Bang Bang Bang!!
Also:
Get aero bars and put them on your bike. Aero is another word for faster than other people. Do this especially if you ride in groups, it will make it impossible to handle your bike and thus no one will pass you when you are going hard (winning).
It is established that a light frame is essential, carbon parts (due to their lightness) are also as essential. Make sure every part on your bike is carbon, for instance: pedal axels, brake pads, cables, chain and cassette. Money and training can be sacreficed, speed and lightness can't.
The United States Postal Team is the fastes team in the world because Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France. Buy all the same stuff they have. Instant wattage increase.
Train on tubulars.
Is it out of hand yet?
Traditional wheels have up to 36 spokes. Slow. New wheels have 3. Fast. Less spokes, more fast. Lance Armstron didnt win the tour because of some 36 hole box rim. Buy dual disks for general road riding/mountian biking. They can be stolen at any wal-mart or equivalent, and found between the spokes of most magnas.
Ok...mabie later
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