Hagar Shipley sat in on Kenneth Koch’s poetry writing class after all. When the class was asked to write a poem on the topic "I Never Told Anybody," she wrote this poem:

I never told anybody,

Anything.

Not even that I could not tell.

Set in stone within me

I am heavy wit the burden of things untold.

Bram died never knowing,

I was aroused by him.

I thought he was handsome

I loved to hear him calling:

Hagar!

I never told my father

He scared me

And I never told my brothers

I loved them

I never told anybody

That those suffering chicks

Should be helped to die.

I would have done it myself, except--

If only the wheel

Could be turned back.

I would tell them all.

All I ever really wanted

Was simply to rejoice.

The next poet approached the subject matter similarly. Note how she explores three dimensions of Hagar's experience:

I loved.
I pleasured
at the touch and the feel
of my husband's body.
           But I never told him.

I dreamed.
I wished only happiness
for the sons that I bore.
          But I never told them.

I cared.
To be valued
as an individual
as a woman
as a thinking human being.
      But I never told anybody.

The next student introduced her poem by noting, In the poem Hagar expresses her feelings looking at her immediate environment and from this setting looks back on how she came to this place. She had always been seeking acceptance in her life, and now experienced with other patients. Since she had always been stubborn and always avoided expressing feelings, she was now in a safe place, unthreatened, and so could express what she had never told anyone before. It was important for her to reveal her inner feelings at the end of her life so that she could make peace with herself. In the poem she clarified feelings by putting them into words. This poem would have been written hastily between her last visit with Marvin and before her death. Let’s assume that there may have been sufficient time.

I am here alone

I, the Egyptian

Where have all things gone

The love I never knew

No, knew but could not grasp

I never told, I could not tell

‘Till now.

I see others now

Like me, old and alone

This one sings

That one chats

There is one who needs me

I am not alone

The love I never knew

How could I speak

Having never heard myself

Words—words of love

The angel I see was stone

Sightless, eyeless,

But I look into the mirror

(I often have, you know)

And I see my own eyes

I can see!

I have seen much

My beloved men

Those who never spoke of love

The lover I never thought I knew

Now I know

I have never told anyone

But now I tell

And having told

Can rest

Released

A last example of "I Never Told Anybody," as it relates to Hagar Shipley, is shown in the poem below. This poem introduces a few perspectives not noted in the earlier poems. For instance, Hagar’s life has always been marked by one event: her mother’s death giving birth to her. Her father never got the son he wanted, and Hagar always feared dying in childbirth someday herself.

I hated her because she left me

Before I could ever know her--

And I never told anybody.

I hated him because he teased me with schooling,

Then made me his chattel—

And I never told anybody.

There was one I wanted to hate;

Tried to hate—

For hate was my habit.

He found love in me.

Love that nearly welled out of my body—

Yet I never told anybody.

Instead I ran.

I ran from every good joy I might have held-

I ran from my heart’s truth.

Because of pride,

For "appearances"—

Because nobody ever told me.

Understanding, compassion,

Affection, trust—

None a part of the wasteland

Of my beginning.

And—

Nobody ever told me.

The student who wrote the following "summed up" the class in a unique way:

All the Words That Come to My Mind Because of This Class. . .

Hagar--Mr. Sweet--The Ordinary--the Routine--the Details--Age--A
Lived Reality--Age as an Accomplishment--Sentimentality--Brutality--
Sentiment--Despair--Joy-Poetry--Sensations--Present to the Moment--
Grandma--Senses--Plums--Haiku Revelation--Pastoral--Metaphors--
Similies--Personification--Old Age--Dialogue--Story Telling--Reality--Home--
Feelings--Words--Robert Frost--Fire--Youth--May Sarton--Solitude-
Society--Regeneration--Salamander Tails--Flames--Tongues-Diary--
Light--Darkness--Tall Gods--Cricket Boots--Free--Leaving--Be Useful--
Sophie--Satire--Wrath of the People--Pain--Anguish--Live--Invisibility--
Soul--Image--Profile--Initials--Ernie--Rose--Odd Couple--Elder--
Intergenerational--Mother--Daughter--Home--Documentary--Direct
Interview--Direct Cinema--Voice Over-Archival--Nannies--Martha--Ethel--
Love--Loyalty--Home--Identities--Physical--Emotional--Hippies--
Trainspotting--Feed the Rush--Unobtrusive--drama--Sensitivity--Pharoah--
Introspective--Self-Respecting--Separateness--Togetherness-Change--
Growth--Control--Passion--Mr. Nobody--Jack Huggins--Camera Angles--
Independence--Terror--Edge--Unresolved--Themes--To Hell With Dying--
The Moon--Power--Resurrection--Persistence--Trust--Continuity--
Generations--Mutuality--Childhood--Adulthood--Fantasy--Death--Time--
Agelessness--Loss--China--Objects--Context--Nature--Values--Culture--
Home--History--Frailty--Finitude--Buried--Knowing--Not Knowing--Ghosts--
Mentor--Sounds--Sighs--Folktales--Grandmother--Worker--Dying--
Ease--Birth--Grace--Paradoxical Thinking--Seashells--Gift--Let Go-
Burden--Inexhaustible--Failure--Life--Uncle--Song--Secrets--Lies--Fargo--
Pole Star--Michael--Statue--28-Up--Neil--"I've Got to Write this Book"

Other examples of student poetry: