Elder Abuse: Five Case Studies
[1990, 40 min.] The video acquaints us with another dimension of family violence
by sharing the stories of five older adult victims of abuse. The abused elders
include four women and one man, and one person of color. Each case is tracked
through time so that viewers learn what happened to the subjects months afterwards.
Throughout the video there is ample evidence of appropriate and effective interventions
by social services representatives and counselors. The dynamics of abusive relationships
between adult children and their parents or between older adult spouses are
revealed in painful detail.
Introduction
In the past generation our society has become more aware of and sensitive to
the problems relating to child abuse. The video acquaints us with another dimension
of family violence by sharing the stories of five older adult victims of abuse.
One of the strengths of this video is that each case is tracked through time
so that viewers learn what happened to the subjects months afterwards. This
perspective of also sheds light on details of the cycle of abuse. Over and over
the victims express hope that the abuser will change. Repeatedly they return
to the site of the abuse and experience again renewed feelings of despair and
hopelessness. Throughout the video there is ample evidence of appropriate and
effective interventions by social services representatives and counselors. But
plans that are articulated in counseling often are not carried out.
The dynamics of abusive relationships between adult children and their parents
or between older adult spouses are revealed in painful detail in this video.
The five victims include four women and one man, and one person of color. The
abusers are three sons and two husbands. The obvious question raised in each
case is why the older adult remains in such an abusive environment. The video
does not seek to provide easy answers to this question. Instead, the director
lets the abused--and even the abusers--speak for themselves. The outcome reflects
the conflicting emotional agendas within family systems and the often self-contradictory
responses made both by abused and abusers to the dynamics of their relationships.
It is clear from this video that law enforcement officials, social service representatives,
and counselors face extraordinary odds when attempting to overcome the cycle
of elder abuse in families.
Another strength of the video is that it documents the dynamics of the relationships
between abuser and abused. The camera doesn't lie. In one counseling session
a son's nonverbal cues reveal his unwillingness to respond to his mother's point
of view; in another scene an older woman's husband expresses his remoteness
and unremitting anger when he complains about her in the presence of the interviewer;
in another instance a daughter is barely able to restrain her anger and bitterness
when she declares that her mother "is not a forgiving person"; lastly, a mother's
face is set with determination when, after the fourth severe beating by her
son, she finally agrees to press charges against him. All of these cases are
reminders of the contradictions that are at the heart of elder abuse. The narrator
concludes that for those who work with such cases of elder abuse the goal is
"to empower the victims to make his or her own choices." This video contains
a series of moving testimonials to the consequences of abuse; it will assist
in that process of empowerment for those elders who have been abused and for
those professionals who work with them.
Pre-Viewing Notes
and Activities
The director opens the video with a voice-over: “What follows is a candid look
at five separate cases of domestic violence against an older adult. The cases
are real, not made up or scripted, and the subjects are the victims themselves,
not actors. “
- Before showing the film to an audience, write the following word on an overhead
and project it to the audience: Abuse. Ask the audience to generate
a list of ideas and feelings that are evoked by the use of that word. Make
sure the phrases "emotional abuse" and "physical abuse" are part of the discussion.
Then add the following phrases under the word Abuse: Child Abuse, Spouse
Abuse, Domestic Violence, Cycle of Abuse. Ask your audience to discuss
some of the ideas and feelings that are aroused by these terms. Then add a
fourth phrase to the list: Elder Abuse. Ask your audience to respond
to this term, especially in the context of the earlier terms. To what extent
are their responses to elder abuse consistent with their response to other
forms of abuse? To what extent do people not consider elder abuse as serious
an offense as the other forms of abuse?
- The director concludes the video with the following: "The struggle for a
life free from physical violence and/or emotional abuse is always unique,
because of the different individuals involved. Each individual has his or
her own set of personal strengths and weaknesses, and their own set of circumstances.
The goal of those who work with such cases its to empower the victims to make
his or her own choices, explore with them what those choices are and what
the consequences may be for the choices they make.
Summary of Scenes
A narrator, the director, introduces the video: "What follows is a candid look
at five separate cases of domestic violence against an older adult. The cases
are real, not made up or scripted, and the subjects are the victims themselves,
not actors." Throughout the video the director provides contextual information
about the subjects, always in voice-over, and at the end of each segment explains,
again in voice-over, what happened to the subjects after the videotaping ended.
- NORMAN: He is 77. He lives at home with his wife and two sons, who are 46
and 47. Both sons are unemployed and not interested in seeking employment.
Norman has been beaten several times by his sons. "Sometimes I think,
‘Why does it happen to me?’" Norman is videotaped at a police station. He
talks to a Chicago Police Department Senior Services representative. The director
provides background information through voice-over. Norman is recovering from
a beating at the hands of one of his sons a few weeks ago. He didn’t sign
a complaint because he feared a more severe beating. "When I get in the
house, I’m done," he says flatly.
- The Senior Services counselor notes that the first time she met Norman was
in the emergency room of the hospital. He was beaten by his son because he
used his son’s towel to dry himself . Stitches were required to close the
wound. "He was just battered." Norman says, "I always think it’s going to
get better. It only lasts so long." The counselor summarizes his plight. His
sons use his Social Security and pension income, and Norman has to work part-time
simply to have his own spending money. The counselor notes that Norman finally
pressed charges. A court date was set and the two sons posted bond. Norman
admits, "If I go back, it’ll happen again. And maybe they’ll kill me one of
these days."
- Norman and the director meet at a restaurant some time later. Norman dropped
the charges against his sons. Why? "It’s a hard question to answer. I don’t
want to see them put away." Why stay with them? "It’s not very easy to answer."
He says that he has no other family in the area, and that he wants to be with
his family. "I’m 77, where can I go?" The director asks if he has visited
a Senior Center to make contacts with other people his age. Norman says he
will visit the Center soon--when the weather improves. He tells the director
that when his sons go out, they make him stay in the house, whether he wants
to or not.
- Later, the director and Norman walk together in Norman’s neighborhood. He
reminisces about his sons when they were children. He refers to his upcoming
50th wedding anniversary. When the director asks again about where he would
live if another beating occurred, Norman answers, "Staying and living with
my family." The director notes that Norman had been beaten again by one of
his sons and was hospitalized for three days. But he returned to live with
his family again. The narrator concludes, "His family rarely lets him go anywhere
by himself."
- DOROTHY AND GARY: Dorothy lives with her adult son, Gary. Gary, unemployed
and alcoholic, is the abuser. We see them in a counseling session. Dorothy
relates instances of the abuse. She tells the counselor, "It comes as such
a surprise to me always because I never really expect it from him." The two
counselors repeatedly encourage Dorothy to move into her own apartment. But
each time they suggest this idea, Gary becomes defensive and complains that
he is being taken advantage of. He refers to a financial arrangement with
his mother that did not work out: "I’m the kid whose contract was broken,
and now I’m in the position of defending myself." He physically turns away
from the counselors and his mother to emphasize his feeling of isolation and
estrangement. Later he says, "It puts me in the position of looking like the
bad guy." The two counselors continue to advise Dorothy about ways to change
the basis of her relationship with Gary. She says, "I think it would be wiser
for two separate places. I haven’t wanted to. I’ve tried to argue myself out
of it. . . ." At the end of the segment the counselors try to affirm Dorothy’s
ability to say "no" to her son. Dorothy and Gary stayed in counseling only
another six months. The director notes that Gary was not physically abusive
to her during this period; but he continued to have problems with alcoholism.
- PAT: She is shown talking to a counselor at a battered woman's shelter.
In a quiet voice she relates the ongoing abuse from her husband of 45 years.
She tells a story of him pointing a handgun at her head and threatening to
shoot her. Then he jokes that the trigger was locked. She tried to live apart
from him two years ago, but she moved back in with him after experiencing
some medical problems. "He's got my brains like scrambled eggs," she says.
"All I want is peace and quiet--nobody harassing me." She describes in painful
detail his physical abuse.
- Pat returned to the shelter a month after the first interview. At that time
she was interviewed a second time. "My emotional state when I came here was
that life wasn’t worth living--that I would be better off dead. I was thinking
of ways I could commit suicide without leaving a mess." She recalls earlier
in the marriage when she left her husband, but then returned because of financial
constraints. When she tries to separate from him, he would always pleads with
her, "Why are you doing this? I love you. You’re the only thing in my life."
- Pat's experiences reflect another aspect of the cycle of abuse: although
she says she wants the abuse to end, she reveals a deep-seated desire, and
almost a sense of responsibility, to change her husband's behavior. She admits,
"Look how many years I’ve wasted by thinking he’s going to change. I felt
sorry for him. I wanted to nurture him. I felt I could handle him." She always
dreamed that someday, when her children grew up and left home, she would leave
her husband. But she never thought about her own aging and her increasing
frailty. "I thought I was going to stay the same age." She asserts, "And I
am bound an determined I am going to have peace and quiet." She acknowledges
that she returned to the shelter because of his continuing assaults. "He’s
been battering me all this time. I began to ask, ‘When are you going to batter
him? When are you going to give him part of what’s he’s given you.’d"d The
narrator explains that she planned to move into a private senior apartment
when one became available. She tells the counselor at the shelter, "I never
thought I had a life. When I came here the last time I was hopeless. But now
you have given me a little hope." In the meantime she was hospitalized. When
she recovered, she returned home.
- One month after she returned home her husband had a serious stroke. After
living in a nursing home for three months, he returned home when the money
ran out. We see them at home, and the director interviews her there. Three
times the husband interrupts the interview. He complains about her selfishness,
about the poor care she provides him. "She can't subtract, she can’t add,
she can't do nothing," he snaps. Pat declares, "If everything pans out, I
will eventually leave." But four months later Pat suffers a heart attack and
dies.
- LUCILLE: Lucille, an African-American woman, 69, has severe diabetes and
is nearly blind. She is divorced and lives with her daughter. Lucille has
experienced 16 years of abuse. Her ex-husband lived with her on and off in
the following years. Despite her knowledge of this history of abuse, Lucille's
daughter has arranged for Lucille's husband to stay with her mother during
the day. We see a counselor visit Lucille and her daughter at home. The counselor
acts as an advocate for Lucille. She informs the daughter that Lucille does
not want her ex-husband alone with her during the day, while the daughter
is at work. She says that Lucille is afraid the stress will kill her. "I don’t
want him around me,"Lucille says. The daughter responds, "There’s two sides
to every story." The daughter is adamant: "She can't be alone." She refuses
to consider a nursing home as an option for her mother. Despite the counselor's
warning that Lucille is afraid that her ex-husband will continue to abuse
her, the daughter refuses to change the present arrangement. "My mother is
going to have to adjust," she insists. When the counselor presses her, she
says, "I understand my Mother. I know she’s not happy, but things are going
to get better. She must be patient." The counselor probes, "And if she can’t?"
The daughter agrees that she will consider a different living arrangement
at that point. The director notes that Lucille suffered a stroke and now lives
with another daughter in Michigan. Her ex-husband lives with her.
- MARY: She has experienced eight years of abuse. The opening of this segment
is painful to watch because it incorporates photographs of Mary after she
was beaten by her son. Both of her eyes are blackened, and there are numerous
bruises on the rest of her face and arms. She is shown at a shelter two weeks
after her last beating. Her son has abused her for eight years. She recalls
that her son had stabbed her several times at an earlier date. She explains
that he was addicted to drug and alcohol at that time. At first Mary did not
press charges against her son. She explains, "You get three chances in life.
He said he was sorry. I couldn’t understand what I had done wrong." She thought,
"He’ll outgrow it. He was 19." But then she recounts the fourth assault. "He
has to learn sometime. I’m very bitter. I love him, but this time I can not
forgive him. Maybe I’m wrong." She pressed charges, and he was convicted and
sentenced to two years in prison.
- A few weeks later, Mary is shown at a support group for battered women.
A counselor refers to Gary’s impending release from prison. "I’m not afraid
of him," she says. She adds, "If he ever hurt me again, I will get even. I
told him, I’ll kill you if you hit me again.’ I wanted revenge." Later Mary
has a one-to-one counseling session with another counselor. The latter asks
Mary if she would let her son in her house if he knocked on her door. "You
know yourself, being a mother, you would let him in," Mary says. The counselor
reminds her that her son has beaten her repeatedly. "But I forgive easy,"
she says. "I would always help him." The counselor tries to encourage her
"to be smart . . . to have a plan. I wouldn’t be alone in the house with him."
The director notes that her son did not attempt to see her when he got out
on parole.
- The director concludes, "The struggle for a life free from physical violence
and/or emotional abuse is always unique, because of the different individuals
involved. Each individual has his or her own set of personal strengths and
weaknesses, and their own set of circumstances. The goal of those who work
with such cases its to empower the victims to make his or her own choices,
explore with them what those choices are and what the consequences may be
for the choices they make."
Discussion Questions and Sample Worksheet
Text of The Great Circle
of Life: A Resource Guide to Films and Videos on Aging, copyright ©
1987, 1999, 2005, Robert E. Yahnke. All photographs copyrighted by Robert E.
Yahnke. All rights reserved. Contact author for permission to copy
photographs or reprint portions of text.