Jealousy arises in 'loving' relationships because of three factors:
comparison, competition, & the fear of being replaced.
If we become more autonomous and self-creating,
these three features of relationships become less significant
and hence the passion of jealousy becomes less likely.

    However, within ordinary, possessive relationships, jealousy is normal:
If we find ourselves replaced, supplanted, traded-in for a better model,
we naturally feel a tremendous sense of loss, anger, grief, & betrayal.

    This bitter feeling of hurt and hostility we call "jealousy"
can become one of the most powerful obsessions of human life.
And yet, this emotion is a social product—with deep cultural roots.
If we have learned how to feel jealous, can we unlearn this response?

    If we are loved for the unique persons we are becoming,
then comparison with rivals diminishes.
And when we are no longer in competition with other women or men,
we become less vulnerable to feeling jealous.
If we become irreplaceable in our relationships, then jealousy disappears.

    Thus the basic way to prevent jealousy
is to become unique and irreplaceable persons.
And becoming more Authentic may be the best way
to transcend the threat of being replaced by potential rivals.

OUTLINE:

I. THE DYNAMICS OF JEALOUSY

A. Which Long-Distance Service Will He Use?

B. The Comparison Game.

A. Replaceability—Being Better Means Being the Same.

B. How We Might Become Singular and Irreplaceable.

IV. WHAT TO DO ABOUT JEALOUSY

V. SUMMARY

     To see a draft of this article, click these words:
"Romantic Jealousy: Cause and Prevention" .

    For a one-page outline of a presentation on this theme,
click these magic blue words:
Romantic Jealousy: Cause and Prevention .
This outline is linked with other resources,
such as a bibliography of books on jealousy.

The views and opinions expressed in this page are strictly those of the page author.
The contents of this page have not been reviewed or approved by the University of Minnesota.