PART II. THE PROMISES OR VOWS
Will we have a ceremony, rings, etc.?
Default answer: Yes, certainly we will have a wedding ceremony.
Since wedding celebrations are one of the most common ceremonies
of any culture, they hardly need to be discussed.
Each culture and sub-culture has its own traditions and patterns.
And the law requires a certain minimum for a marriage to be valid.
If you are planning to have a conventional marriage,
having a standard wedding celebration makes good sense.
Everyone knows what to expect and how to behave
in response to your decision to enter holy matrimony.
Creative answers: You can create whatever ceremonies you want.
Gay and lesbian couples have led the way in Western countries
in creating alternatives to the traditional wedding ceremony,
since they know that in most cases,
their ceremonies do not result in a legal marriage.
They are creating their own gathering of family and friends
in order to solemnize their relationship.
The more unconventional your relationship is
going to be,
the more freedom you have to create your own celebration
announcing that relationship to the world—at least to your family and
You can write your own vows, design your own ceremony,
choose your own clothes, music, setting, etc.
And you can choose your own special ways of explaining your relationship
to all of the people you invite.
Of course, you might decide not to have any
You will just let everyone who needs to know that you are now in
what you regard as an on-going, committed loving relationship.
And you will describe and explain this to others in your own terms.
If you have written your own relationship contract,
you might tell others that you have done this,
even tho you are not required to reveal any of the details of your
Likewise, whether you will exchange and wear
is also completely up to you.
That might be a way to symbolize your commitment to each other.
Probably after you have answered most of the Questions in this book,
you will know just how much you want to follow the traditions of
which includes how traditional you want to be in announcing your
36 DESIGNER MARRIAGE: WRITE YOUR OWN RELATIONSHIP
CONTRACT by James Park
have the entire Question 4 from Designer
April 4, 2009; Revised