Contrary to popular opinion, romantic love is not a natural phenomenon.
Rather, the emotion of being romantically in love
is created inside each person who experiences this feeling
by the emotional programming of the popular culture.
Rochefoucauld put it well in an epigram long ago:
never fall in love
if they had not heard love talked about."
This portal provides links to several Internet
that are very critical of the phenomenon of romantic love:
Is a Hoax! Emotional Programming to 'Fall in Love'
In just three pages, this on-line article lays out the basic critique
of romantic love.
The Best Books
Critical of Romantic Love
The top 10 books exploring the myth of romantic love.
chapter of New Ways of Loving
This chapter is also named "Romantic Love is a Hoax!"
This link contains the table of contents of the chapter on romantic love
and some paragraphs about the historical origin of romantic feelings.
A synopsis of
the chapter on romantic love in New Ways of Loving
This summary lays out the whole romantic illusion in just one page.
Love Test: How Do We Know if We Are in Love?
This set of questions to ask ourselves
will help us to determine just how deeply
we have been programmed into the passion of romantic love.
The questions are divided into 26 groups,
each of which describes one aspect of the romantic delusion
—the A to Z of romantic love.
The complete Romantic
Love Test is available free of charge on the Internet.
But this link also explains how to get a copy
of the complete Romantic Love Test (180 questions) in a printed booklet.
Prevention: Loving Beyond Romance, Sex, & Marriage
This free Internet book draws together several themes
concerning ways to transcend the traditional ways of loving.
Romantic Love Invented?
—looking for the historical
beginning of romantic love.
Those who do not
believe that romantic love is a cultural construct
are invited to submit their examples of romantic love
from history or literature of more than 800 years ago.
Outline of a presentation
based on The Romantic Love Test
This outline also names the 26 features of romantic love.
Outline of a presentation
"Romantic Love is a Hoax! Emotional Programming to 'Fall in Love'
of a very popular program
includes a link to an article by Amy Becker in the Minnesota Daily
—the student newspaper of the
University of Minnesota—
which describes this program and several responses from the
A comprehensive course description for a class called
"New Ways of
Loving: How Authenticity Transforms Relationships"
including a distant learning option.
If we decide that romantic love is a cultural illusion,
then we want stronger foundations for our relationships.
Authenticity might be
a wonderful alternative to romantic
revised 2-13-2014; 4-9-2015;