E. Other Dimensions of our Malaise—and the Way toward Freedom.

     Besides these four ways of experiencing our Existential Predicament
(existential loneliness, emptiness, depression, & insecurity),
there are at least 7 other ways we might describe our Dilemma
—and the corresponding release within Existential Freedom.
If we are being released from our Existential Malaise,
all of the ways in which it used to distort our relationships are gone:

     When our beings were possessed by existential despair,
we yearned for love to provide ultimate hope.
But if we are now living beyond our Existential Malaise,
we love within an existential hopefulness that already possesses our beings.

     When we felt existentially absurd—out of joint with life—
we wanted love to provide ultimate meaning and harmony.
But if we have discovered how to open ourselves to the gift of harmony,
we no longer expect love to be the antidote to existential absurdity.

     When we were anxious, we wanted love to bring ultimate peace.
But if we are already at peace within ourselves,
we are no longer even tempted to make such foolish demands on love.

     When we were existentially split, we wanted love to hold us together.
But if we have discovered how to become unified within ourselves,
the people we love will not be expected to pull our fragments together.

     When we felt the overwhelming meaninglessness of life,
we often sought meaning in closer relationships.
But when Existential Freedom provides ultimate meaning,
we no longer expect love to make our lives meaningful.

     When we were in ontological anxiety, we might have dreamed
that love would overcome the terror that is much deeper than death.
But if we have found our way beyond this inexplicable threat,
we can open ourselves to relationships without asking the impossible.

     And when we were existentially guilty,
we might have sought ultimate forgiveness in the arms of another.
But even the best of loves cannot overcome existential guilt.
However, if we have been released from our trans-moral guilt,
we can love within an existential forgiveness we are already receiving.

     In summary, if we are loving in Existential Freedom,
we lack the ‘glue’ of ordinary relationships:
We no longer depend on each other or cling to each other.
Because we are already full and whole within ourselves,
we can create a completely new kind of love:
Rather than building our relationships on general, pre-existing needs,
we create unique and unrepeatable relationships based on the overlap
of our new projects-of-being in response to Existential Freedom.
Living beyond our Existential Malaise, we can love without expecting,
give without taking, combine our lives without losing ourselves. 

Chapter 13   LOVING IN EXISTENTIAL FREEDOM   by JAMES PARK                               231


Created long ago; Posted on the Internet 8-8-2007; Revised

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James Park  New Ways of Loving:
How Authenticity Transforms Relationships
(Minneapolis, MN: www.existentialbooks.com, 2007—6th edition)
p. 231  

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The full text of this chapter
Loving in Existential Freedom
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If you would like to explore
the concept of Existential Freedom more deeply,
here are some books to consider reading:
Existential Spirituality Bibliography .

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