Jealousy arises in 'loving' relationships
because of three factors:
(1) comparison, (2) competition, & (3) the fear of being replaced.
If we become more autonomous and self-creating,
these three features of relationships become less significant
and hence the passion of jealousy becomes less likely.
However, within ordinary, possessive
relationships, jealousy is normal:
If we find ourselves replaced, supplanted, traded-in for a better model,
we naturally feel a tremendous sense of loss, anger, grief, & betrayal.
bitter feeling of hurt and
hostility we call "jealousy"
can become one of the most powerful obsessions of human life.
And yet, this emotion is a social product—with deep cultural roots.
If we have learned how to feel jealous, can we unlearn this response?
we are loved for the unique
persons we are becoming,
then comparison with rivals diminishes.
And when we are no longer in competition with other women or men,
we become less vulnerable to feeling jealous.
If we become irreplaceable in our relationships, then jealousy disappears.
the basic way to prevent
is to become unique and irreplaceable persons.
And becoming more Authentic might be the best way
to transcend the threat of being replaced by potential rivals.
Seven books exploring
the dynamics of jealousy:
Best Books on Jealousy .
If you would like to
read a three-page article on this theme, to go:
Romantic Jealousy: Cause and Prevention .
Some other Internet
resources on Jealousy:
Resources for Dealing with Jealousy .
James Park is an
existential philosopher living in Stevens Square.
This discussion is based on Chapter 5 of his most popular book:
New Ways of Loving: How Authenticity Transforms Relationships :
Time and place:
This workshop will probably consist of one
It can be arranged for any time or place
in the Twin Cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul, Minnesota.
Send suggestions to James Park, e-mail: PARKx032@TC.UMN.EDU.
An alternative class:
A four-week class, which includes other
dimensions of loving relationships:
New Ways of Loving:
How Authenticity Transforms Relationships: