SKEPTICAL QUESTIONS
FOR ANYONE
WHO OFFERS A CLASS ON SEX
Perhaps especially because the Experimental College
of the Twin Cities
is an alternative adult education organization,
I would raise several questions before I would attend any such
gathering:
WHAT QUALIFICATIONS DOES THE
FACILITATOR HAVE TO TEACH A CLASS ON SEX?
WILL MEMBERS OF SEX-AND-GENDER
MINORITIES BE COMFORTABLE?
IS THE FACILITATOR PREOCCUPIED WITH SEX?
WHAT QUALIFICATIONS DOES THE
FACILITATOR HAVE TO TEACH A CLASS ON SEX?
Everyone might have a deep interest in sex,
but this does not mean that everyone who feels the urge
to create a group focused on sex would be a good facilitator.
Conventional academic institutions should have screening procedures
which would be intended to eliminate anyone
who has a hidden sexual motivation for creating such a class.
Since EXCO has no gatekeepers evaluating potential
facilitators,
each potential participant must do his or her own evaluation.
And this personal evaluation will have to be done
on the basis of the presented information about the facilitator.
In most cases, very little information is offered.
And there is no easy way to check its accuracy and completeness.
The best way to evaluate me as the facilitator of
Imprinted Sexual Fantasies
is to spend as much time as needed reading the pages of the text:
http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/SS.html
This link leads to about 50 pages from Imprinted
Sexual Fantasies.
Someone who merely wanted to gather people to pursue some hidden sexual
agenda
would usually not be able to produce a book of 176 pages
if he or she was not really serious about the subject.
And even if EXCO did have some gatekeepers,
they would probably not be able to take sufficient time to read deeply
in the text.
They might simply reject the class as too controversial.
But people seriously interested in this class will not mind spending
even several hours reading the material presented on the Internet
because such serious people are planning to read the book in any
case.
They will use their own powers of evaluation
to come to their own conclusions about the quality of the thought
without depending on any administrators who have less time and interest
and who would rather say "no" than spend the needed time
to reach meaningful conclusions about the facilitator.
Because EXCO is an alternative educational
organization,
it does not depend on conventional academic credentials
to decide who is qualified to teach each class.
Instead of depending on the academic degrees earned by the facilitators,
potential participants must dig deeper into actual thinking of the facilitator.
WILL MEMBERS OF SEX-AND-GENDER
MINORITIES BE COMFORTABLE?
Gay, lesbian, bisexual, & transgender individuals
—and
any other variations from main-stream sex-and-gender identities—
are welcome to take part in this seminar called
Imprinted Sexual Fantasies: A New Key for Sexology.
In fact, this class might be especially relevant to their own thinking
about their variations.
We will create as safe a place as possible for
personal exploration,
without requiring anyone to share more than he or she feels is
appropriate.
In other words, participants will not be expected or asked to disclose
their own sexual fantasies or experiences.
Our discussions will not be therapy sessions.
Rather, we will stick to the intellectual exploration of sexual
dynamics.
Participants should reserve their sexual dynamics
for exploration in other settings—with
their sex-partners
and perhaps even with professionals who specialize in exploring
sex.
For example, participants will not be expected to
disclose their sexual orientations.
And any 'transgender' persons who attend will not be expected to tell
their sexual histories.
In our brief 5 sessions together, we will not have time to go very
deeply
into the personal and interpersonal life of anyone who attends.
Probably the deepest exploration will take place
when each participant reads
the book.
Reactions, responses, & questions arising from this reading
will be the main content of our discussions.
Individual sexual dynamics are often kept secret, even from one's usual
sex-partner.
And no probing will occur in this seminar.
We will be meeting in a very safe, public space.
And anyone will be free to leave at any time
if the discussion becomes uncomfortable.
Reading this book alone (or with one's sex-partner)
and discussing it with the others who attend this seminar
will probably be just one small part in a life-long quest for deeper
understanding of sex.
Participants might end with more questions than answers
because this perspective on human sexuality is so new.
But clarifying the questions and searching for the sources of sexual
fantasies
could open up a whole new phase of the quest for self-understanding.
We hope that everyone who attends this seminar will
participate
in the same spirit of keeping the setting comfortable for everyone else
who takes part.
Given these prior warnings, the following does not seem likely to
happen,
but the facilitator reserves the right to exclude anyone
who disrupts the orderly discussion with a private agenda.
All participants will be invited to express any questions they might
have
about the motivations of other participants.
We will create a safe physical and psychological environment for
everyone who attends.
IS THE FACILITATOR PREOCCUPIED
WITH SEX?
This is a very valid question to be addressed to
anyone who offers a class on sex.
Even someone who writes a book on sex
will be asked about his or her motivations.
Was the research and writing some forms of personal therapy?
Did the author want to solve some sexual problem by writing this book?
Does the author have some sexual quirks that lie behind this book?
Is the author trying to defend his or her own sexual imprinting?
And is the facilitator creating this seminar in
order to satisfy some sexual fantasy?
Will some sexual games be played-out in this seminar?
Is the facilitator looking for new sexual partners?
Is he or she the founder of a new sex-cult?
Potential participants in Imprinted Sexual Fantasies
can be assured that I—the
author of the text and facilitator of this seminar—
am not preoccupied with sex.
The basic proof of this is the fact that I wrote several other books
before getting around to writing my first book on sex.
Sex is not the main dynamic of my life.
Many other projects have higher priority.
Another demonstration of this is my website,
An Existential Philosopher's Museum:
http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/
This museum has about 1,000 'rooms'.
Less than 10% deal with sex.
The same could not be said about even professional
people
who have devoted their lives to studying and teaching about sex.
As I have read hundreds of books about sex,
I also ask the same question about motivation.
And I conclude the many authors of books dealing with sex
do have strong sexual agendas and personal motivations.
And their own sexual dynamics do
influence their work.
Here are my reviews of the best books about sex,
divided into a dozen separate bibliographies:
http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/SEXOLOGY.html
My example of a sexologist who did not allow his own sexual
fantasies
to influence or distort his professional work is John Money.
Several of his books are reviewed in the bibliographies referred to
above.
When I say that I have read hundreds of books about
sex
—and
reviewed dozens of them—
this also should not be taken an indication that I am preoccupied with
sex.
In my long life, I have read thousands of books on many subjects.
And I have reviewed over 400 of them.
Here is my complete index of reviews:
http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/BIB-JP.html
This list also shows the minor
role sex plays in my intellectual interests.
There are 60 bibliographies; but only 12 of these deal with sex.
If my life were driven by my own imprinted sexual
fantasies,
then some imbalance would probably be evident
in the parts of my life that are disclosed on the Internet.
(If another EXCO facilitator offers a class on sex,
I will be very interested to read his or her website.
Will the facilitator's preoccupations become evident?)
I have written a short explanation of how I came to
write my first book on sex:
http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/ISF-HOW.html
This story recounts the odd route by which
Imprinted Sexual Fantasies: A
New Key for Sexology
came into being—as
a by-product of re-writing my book on love.
I have spent more time reading and writing about love than about sex.
See the LOVE section of my website:
http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/LVindex.html.
This will lead to several bibliographies about various dimensions of
love.
Love and sex are usually deeply intertwined,
but I explain my distinctions here:
"Separating Lust and Love":
http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/CY-S-L&L.html.
The people who will make up any particular seminar
discussing this book
will select themselves:
They will read the first chapter before the first meeting.
Quoting from the course description:
Session 1:
I.
INTRODUCING
THE SEX-SCRIPT HYPOTHESIS
This chapter is available
free of charge on the Internet:
See the table of
contents.
Participants in this class
should
read these 16 pages before the first
session.
After we introduce the
class and the participants,
we will discuss this first
chapter.
And in most settings,
participants will be free to drop-out after the first meeting
if they do not feel that any particular group will be good for them.
I think it will be entirely safe to say that the participants in this seminar
will be more preoccupied with sex than I am.
The people who will be committed enough to this exploration
that they will actually get to the meeting place
will probably be people whose lives
are more focused around sex than I am.
And this should not be a problem.
After all, this is explicitly a class on sex.
And people who are exploring their own sexuality
should attend such a
seminar.
Participating in this short seminar could be one small part in
what might become a life-long quest for deeper understanding of one's
own sexuality.
If all works as planned, this seminar will be
open-minded and open-ended
discussions about all dimensions of human sexuality.
The facilitator and the participants will work together to make it so.
created May 8, 2009;
revised 5-14-2009