Sources
of
Sexual
Fantasies
SYNOPSIS:
Our sexual responses often seem mysterious even to ourselves.
But the sex-script
hypothesis presents a
third possible explanation:
Our internal sexual responses might have
been
imprinted into us at an early
age.
During certain critical periods in our
psycho-sexual development,
particular images, stories, & sexual
responses—our "sex-scripts"—
were imprinted into our brains more or
less at random.
And these sexual fantasies remain in our brains for the rest of our
lives.
A basic analogy
that might help us understand sexual imprinting
is the phenomenon of acquiring
a native language.
When we were infants, we quickly and
permanently acquired our first language.
It seems that our 'language-file' is
open for such imprinting
only during the first few months of life.
We do not know
just when the human 'sex-file' is open for imprinting,
but we might be able to identify specific
events
which have a remarkably-permanent impact
on our sexual responses.
Much more research is needed to explore
the possible connection between
adult sexual responses and sexually-imprinting
events in childhood.
OUTLINE:
I. INTRODUCING THE SEX-SCRIPT HYPOTHESIS
II. THE EVOLUTIONARY BACKGROUND OF HUMAN SEX-SCRIPTS
III. SEXUAL
IMPRINTING AT
CRITICAL PERIODS
IN PSYCHO-SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT
IV. THREE LEVELS OF SEX-SCRIPTS
V. VARIETIES OF SEX-SCRIPTS
VI. IDENTIFYING OUR OWN SEX-SCRIPTS
VII. HOMOSEXUAL SEX-SCRIPTS
VIII. THE IMPACT OF SEX-SCRIPTS ON OUR RELATIONSHIPS
IX.
TRANSCENDING OUR SEX-SCRIPTS
Sources
of Sexual Fantasies
by James Leonard Park
Happy orgasms to everyone!
Probably no other sermon
has ever begun with such a greeting.
But, in contrast to many other religions,
Unitarian Universalism affirms
sex rather than represses
it.
Sex
can be one of the
most wonderful dimensions of human life and love.
And one possible outcome of this cyber-sermon might
be
a better understanding of your own sexual
responses.
Human sexual responses
are fundamentally different from animal sexuality
because of the very important mental
dimensions of our sexuality.
Our sexual responses are deeply controlled
by our imprinted sexual fantasies.
I. INTRODUCING THE SEX-SCRIPT HYPOTHESIS
The
sex-script hypothesis
conjectures
that certain ideas, images, fantasies,
sex-objects, etc.
are imprinted into our minds sometime
before age 20.
Imprinting is quick and permanent,
in contrast to learning,
which requires constant repetition and
reinforcement.
Another form of mental imprinting is
acquiring
our native language.
We 'pick up' the vocabulary and syntax
of our first language
without a single hour of instruction.
Perhaps our sexual fantasies are acquired
in a similar way.
And both our mother-tongue and our sexual
'turn-ons' are permanent.
II. THE EVOLUTIONARY BACKGROUND OF HUMAN SEX-SCRIPTS
We inherited from our animal ancestorsIII.
SEXUAL IMPRINTING AT CRITICAL PERIODS
IN PSYCHO-SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT
At
special times
in our psycho-sexual development
(most commonly at puberty), the 'sex-files'
of our minds are particularly open.
Then, almost anything in our environment
can become part of a sex-script.
After such sexual imprinting, those sexy
images, ideas, fantasies, etc.,
will remain part of our psychological
make-up for the rest of our lives.
IV. THREE LEVELS OF SEX-SCRIPTS
Human sex-scripts can
be sub-divided into three dimensions:
(1) sexual interest—our minds involuntarily
fascinated by certain themes.
(2) sexual arousal—our bodies responding
sexually to certain stimuli.
(3) sexual orgasm—the climax of sexual
arousal linked to certain fantasies.
In all three dimensions, we experience
our sexuality
as something that is happening to
us rather than something we do.
Our imprinted sexual fantasies seem to have
a power of their own.
V. VARIETIES OF SEX-SCRIPTS
Because our sex-scripts
are imprinted after birth
rather than given by our genes,
almost anything can become part of the
story that 'turns us on'.
Unusual objects, settings, words,
gestures, clothing, behavior, etc.
often do become parts of our imprinted
sexual fantasies.
Most sex-scripts depict the fantasy sex-partner
as someone of the other sex.
But homosexual sex-scripts call for partners
of the same sex.
VI. IDENTIFYING OUR OWN SEX-SCRIPTS
Unfortunately, our
sex-files are not directly accessible to us.
But we can discover what our sex-scripts
contain indirectly:
by exploring our erotic dreams;
by seeing which kinds
of pornography 'turn us on';
by noting what sexy images in advertising
draw our attention;
by sexual experimentation to see what arouses us.
VII. HOMOSEXUAL SEX-SCRIPTS
Homosexual fantasies
have long been puzzling to sexology.
And many people who find themselves with
fantasies
of having sex with partners of the same
sex are often puzzled.
But both major types of sex-scripts probably
result from sexual imprinting.
How all forms of sexual imprinting occur
remains for the next generation of sexology
to discover.
VIII. THE IMPACT OF SEX-SCRIPTS ON OUR RELATIONSHIPS
Our
imprinted sexual fantasies
come from an earlier phase of our lives.
Thus, when we become more mature in our
personal relationships,
we might be bothered by sexual responses
that seem 'immature'.
Perhaps we experience this as a tension
between
lust and love.
Thru years of personal growth, we have
become adults.
And we want our loving relationships
to express our self-creating selves.
But 'our bodies' might still be responding
like teen-agers.
(Our sex-scripts might contain sexual responses
that seem to belong to an earlier phase
of our lives.)
If we make our sexual fantasies explicit to
ourselves and each other,
we might be able to create relationships
beyond our sexual imprinting.
IX. TRANSCENDING OUR SEX-SCRIPTS
Perhaps we can transcend
our sexual imprinting
when we create personal relationships
of such depth and power
that—even tho we still have our generic
sexual responses—
they pale in
comparison to the interpersonal
dynamics we have created.
Sex can be transformed from the quest
for someone
who fits our pre-existing sexual fantasies
(our generic sexual responses)
to a special form of sexuality
that arises only in one particular relationship.
Much
more research
is needed to see if the sex-script hypothesis
will be confirmed, revised, or rejected.
The basic question will be:
Does this new model of imprinted sexual fantasies
help us to understand our own sexuality?
AUTHOR:
James Park is
an existential philosopher and sexologist.
You will learn much more about him on
his home page:
An
Existential Philosopher's Museum
,
http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/
This website now
has more than 1,000 'rooms'.
MORE INFORMATION ON THE INTERNET ABOUT SEX-SCRIPTS
The Best
Books Supporting the Sex-Script Hypothesis
If you
would like to read more about sexual imprinting,
this
bibliography reviews several books
compatible with the idea of imprinted sexual fantasies:
http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/B-SEX-SC.html
Variations
of Sex and Gender Bibliography
This
bibliography reviews a few books
that
explore six forms of variation
from standard patterns of sex and gender:
http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/B-V-SG.html
Gender-Personality
Bibliography
These
several books explore how
our
'masculinity' or 'femininity' develops:
http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/B-GEND.html
Sexual
Orientation Bibliography
Several scientific and philosophical books
attempting
to explain the emergence of sexual orientations:
http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/B-ORNT.html
WRITE
TO THE AUTHOR
OF THIS CYBER-SERMON
James
Park welcomes
your questions and comments at:
PARKx032@TC.UMN.EDU
Go to other
cyber-sermons by James Park,
organized into 10 subject-areas.
Go to the SEXOLOGY
index page.
Go to the opening page for this
website:
An
Existential Philosopher's Museum.