Are you prepared to learn the Alphabet?

Learning the alphabet is a serious endeavor that often requires years, if not decades of training. The Alphabet Association of America has created this website in order to spread our AlphaMagic® learning method to the general public. It is our sincerest hope that this website acts as a powerful tool for teaching the Alphabet to the unwashed masses. (The tool also works for the washed masses.) You should explore our site and learn everything that the alphabet has to offer! Wait. How are you reading this if you don't know the alphabet? Do you know how to read? Did you search "learning the alphabet", when you already knew the alphabet? Who has that kind of free time? don't you have something better to do than to search for things that you dont even need at all? If you can read this, please leave.

By clicking and reading some or all of this message you forfeit the right to take legal action against The Alphabet Association of America for any and all inevitable incidents that may occur due to the use of our unpatented, non-FDA approved AlphaMagic® System. The AlphaMagic® system is not magical, or a system. Use of the AlphaMagic® System may not actually be a powerful system to teach one or more of the following: you, children, your friends, your dog, your dog’s friends, people without internet access, the unwashed masses, roast beef hashes, uncanned molasses, snakes in tall grasses, or anyone/anything else. Prolonged use of this system may result in cachexia, loss of appetite, weight loss, weight gain, dry mouth , loss of mouth, growing an additional mouth, a general, creeping sense of dread, jaundice, insatiable urges to dance to avant garde music performed by snail people, and minor eye strain. There is no supporting evidence in the form of a peer-reviewed article that proves the existence of Santa Claus, the easter bunny, snail people, or Gary from accounting; users of this website are permitted to keep a sense of childlike wonder pertaining to the existence of snail people, if only so that they may have a glimmer of hope about finding that avant garde snail music they so badly want to dance to. This website may not be Disseminated without express permission from the NBA. Any before and after photos on this website are heavily photoshopped, and the showcased cases of weight loss are not typical for users of the AlphaMagic® System.

The views and opinions expressed in this page are strictly those of the page author.
The contents of this page have not been reviewed or approved by the University of Minnesota.