Linux: The choice of a GNU Generation Avoid the Gates of Hell. Use Linux Linux: because a PC is a terrible thing to waste "World Domination. Fast" -- Linus Torvalds We are Pentium of Borg. Division is futile. You will be approximated. We are using Linux daily to UP our productivity - so UP yours! Never make any mistaeks. Linux is addictive, I'm hooked! "Linus? Whose that?" -- clueless newbie on #Linux Windows: you can't live with it, you can live without it. Linux: Do you want to delete Windows today? "C is quirky, flawed, and an enormous success." - Dennis M. Ritchie In accord to UNIX philosophy, PERL gives you enough rope to hang yourself. Linux..."Find out what you've been missing while you've been rebooting Windows NT." --Infoworld As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing. - computer Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake! A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. There's too much blood in my caffeine system. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now. Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I. Double your drive space - delete Windows! What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free? "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes." Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy. Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector. Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive. "640K ought to be enough for anybody." -- Bill Gates '81 90% of all statistics are made up on the spot. "COINCIDENCE" happens. "Every time I've built character, I've regretted it." "I believe OS/2...to be the most important OS...of all time" -- Gates '87 "It is not the fall that kills you. it's the sudden stop at the end." -- D. Adams "Keyboard? How quaint!" - Scotty "Off the keyboard, thru the router, over the bridge, nothing but net!" "There are lies, damned lies, and statistics." -- Mark Twain "You can't have everything. Where would you put it?" -- Steven Wright (A)bort, (R)etry, (I)nfluence with large hammer Dinner not ready: (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza ..Windows NT Performance", on the next "In Search Of" 1200 bps used to seem so fast 3 out of 4 Americans make up 75% of the population. 668 - Neighbor of the Beast A bird in the hand can be messy. A closed mouth gathers no feet. A friend: someone who likes you even after they know you. A living example of Artificial Intelligence. A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago. Agnodyslexic plea: "why ME, dog?" Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows. Always draw your curves, _then_ plot the data. Always glad to share my ignorance - I've got plenty. An Elephant: A Mouse built to government specifications. An ulcer is what you get mountain climbing over molehills. An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. An unemployed court jester is no one's fool. Any fool can criticize, condemn, & complain. And most do. Any philosophy that can be put in a nutshell belongs there Any wire cut to length will be too short. As I said before, I never repeat myself. Atheist = Deity Disadvantaged. B.Gates: quality software ... R.McDonald: gourmet cuisine BREAKFAST.COM Halted... Cereal Port Not Responding. Back Up My Hard Drive? I Can't Find The Reverse Switch! Barium: what you do with dead chemists. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. Black holes really suck... Blessed are the pessimists, for they make backups! Borg spreadsheet: Locutus 1-2-3 Bugs are Sons of Glitches! Bus error (Passengers dumped) California raisins murdered: Cereal Killer suspected Can I yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse? Card-carrying member of the cultural elite. Cause of crash: Inadvertent contact with the ground. Celibacy is not hereditary. Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular. Clarvoiants meeting canceled due to unforseen events. Computer Lie #1: You'll never use all that disk space. Corrupt REALITY.SYS: Reboot Universe (Y/n)? Dilate: To live longer. Diode: What happens to people who don't die young. Diagonally parked in a parallel universe. Did ya hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary! Disclaimer: Written by a highly caffeinated mammal. Don't be a sexist, broads hate that. Don't blame me, I voted for Mickey Mouse. Don't buy furs, it takes trees to make protest signs. Don't byte off more than you can multiplex. Don't confuse me with the facts. Don't panic, don't panic... Oops. Error: root device is full. kernel: lp0 on fire! Error 103: Dead mouse in hard drive. Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery. Error 15 - Unable to exit Windows. Try the door. Fatal System Error: Press F13 to continue... Fad: In one era and out the other Famous last words - Don't worry, I can handle it. Famous last words - You and what army? Faster than a speeding ticket! Feeling Lucky today? Run Windows. File not found. Should I fake it? (y/n) Find your aim in life, before you run out of ammunition Flirt: A woman who thinks it's every man for herself. Floggings will continue until morale improves. Firings will continue until morale improves. Forget the computer! Where's my abacus? Fraud(n): A telephone number starting with "1-900" Friction can be a drag sometimes. Friends are Friends, regardless of their baud rate! Friends don't let friends use Windows. Guru: One who knows more jargon than you. Manager: One who knows more buzzwords than you. General Failure reading John Dvorak General Failure reading Jesse Berst Get the facts first - you can distort them later! Give your child mental blocks for Christmas. Go Lemmings, Go!!! Away. If I should return before I get back, please tell me where I am. Gravity brings me down. Grow your own dope... plant a person. Gun control is being able to hit your target! HAL 9000: Dave. Put down those Windows disks, Dave. DAVE! Happiness is a cluster of eight Sun Enterprise 10000s Have Tardis, will travel. Have Warp Core, will travel. Have it OUR way. Yours is IRRELEVANT. At BORGerKing. He who laughs last is S-L-O-W. He's dim, Jed Heisenberg slept here, I think. High score: 2,814,794,693 Your score: 26 Why are Macintosh error messages always negative numbers? Honey, PLEASE don't pick up the PH$@#*&$^(#@&$^%(*NO CARRIER Hors d'oeuvres--a ham sandwich cut into forty pieces. How come the AT&T logo looks like the Death Star? How come there's only one Monopolies Commission? How do I set my laser printer for stun? How do you make Windows faster? Throw it harder. How do you write zero in Roman numerals? How does one expect the unexpected? How long will a floating point operation float? How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand! I Have To Stop Now, My Fingers Are Getting Hoarse! I am Homer of Borg! Prepare to be-- OOooooo! Donuts!!! IBM: Think. Apple: Think Different. Microsoft: Don't Think. I came, I saw, I did a little shopping. I came, I saw, I hid in the basement. I came, I saw, I conquered. -- Tux I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. I could have used Windows. Maybe. For about 5 seconds. I float like an anchor and sting like a moth. I give advice worth the price -- free! I had a life once -- then I found a modem, BBSes, and then the Internet. I have a rock garden. Three of them died last week. I have a speech impediment -- my foot. I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere. I know everything about everything, except that. I like your approach, now let's see your departure. I made it foolproof. Now they are making better fools! I think, therefore I am. I think. I wish life had a scroll-back buffer. I'm a nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore I'm perfect. I'm an absolute, off-the-wall fanatical moderate. I'm moving to Mars next week. You have any extra boxes? I'm not nearly as think as you confused I am. I've got a mind like a.. a.. what's that thing called? Interlace: To tie two boots together. If at first you don't succeed-- Wait! Did you read the manual? If in doubt, make it sound convincing. If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway. If it walks out of your refrigerator, LET IT GO!! If marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws. If speed scares you, try Windows. If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? If you're not confused, you're not paying attention. If you're not the solution, you're the precipitate. Individualists of the world, UNITE! It is bad luck to be superstitious. It is much easier to be critical than to be correct It's a Tough Job! So I'd Rather YOU do it. It's a fine line between fishing and standing still. It's hard to RTFM when you can't find the FM.. Junk: stuff we throw away. Stuff: junk we keep. Linux: Just do it. Kamikaze Pilot Wanted: Only experienced need apply. Kamikaze Pilot Wanted: Experienced need not apply. Keyboard Not Found - Press [F1] to Continue. Kleptomania: take something for it. Know what I hate? I hate rhetorical questions! Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself. Life would be easier if I had the source code. So that's why there are so few Java programs! Garbage collection! MS Windows -- From the people who brought you EDLIN! MS-DOS: celebrating eighteen years of obsolescence Make Headlines -- Use a corduroy pillow. May I please be excused? My Brain is full. May the Porsche be with you. Have a Mediocre Day! Microsoft gives you Windows. Linux gives you the whole house. Microsoft Windows: A virus with mouse support. Murphy's law needs to be repealed. Contact your congressman to repeal Murphy's Law. It's gotta work! My other computer is an abacus. My Governor can beat up your Governor. NO! Taco Bell is NOT the Mexican Phone Company! Never say, "Oops!" Always say, "Ah, interesting!" No radio. Already stolen. Not a real message, but an incredible soy substitute! Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time. Linux is not about fixing old Windows, but opening new doors. On a clear disk you can seek forever. On an electrician's truck: Let Us Remove Your Shorts One man's Windows are another man's walls. Do cosmetologists give make-up exams? Oxymoron: Bosnian Cease-Fire Please reply if you don't get this message. This message made from 100% recycled photons and electrons. Program too small for Windows. Radioactive halibut is good for fission chips. Oxymoron: Random order Recursive, adj.; see Recursive. Remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else. Rotisserie: A ferris wheel for chickens. Stick: A boomerang that doesn't work. Shh! Be vewy quiet, I'm hunting wuntime ewwows! Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark. Y2K: Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak. Strike any user when ready. That was ZEN. This is TAO. The future isn't what it used to be. The secret of the universe isConnection Lost The sixth sheikh's sixth sheep's sick. There will be no last bus tonight. Think "HONK" if you're a telepath. Those who can't teach, do. To err is human. To moo bovine. Tolkien is hobbit-forming. Try? Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try. In an alternate universe, their name is Macrohard. If it happens, it must be possible. Unable to locate Caffeine -- Operator Halted! Veni Vidi Visa: I came, I saw, I did a little shopping. Vulcans have less fun. WWhhaatt ddooeess dduupplleexx mmeeaann?? We all live in a yellow subroutine. What are you doing? The message is over. GO AWAY! What's another word for 'thesaurus?' What's the 411 on 911? Who is "they" anyway? Why are Chinese fortune cookies written in English? Why don't tomb, comb, and bomb sound alike? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why do you have to abbreviate abbreviate? Windows Error #F99 - CPU too tired to continue... Windows isn't CrippleWare -- it's "Functionally Challenged." Windows NT 2000 -- Windows Not There in 2000. Year 2000. Windows 2000. Y2K. W2K. Coincidence? Zen T-Shirt: Enlightenment Available -- Enquire Within. Supercollider Programming: The art of debugging your program by letting it crash and looking at what remains. Supercollider Programming: Debugging a program by crashing it and looking at what remains. RTFM?!? But I can't even _find_ TFM!! The Matrix has you. Apple: Think Different. Microsoft: Don't Think. Think. -- IBM Game on! Sorry, Try Again. "Thank You. Please Come Again." -- Apu You've Got Mail! Linux. Live Free or Die. The Choice is yours [ Linux | BSD | BeOS ] I am Dyslexic of Borg, Your Ass will be Laminated. Put down the Chalupa. Do, or do not; there is no try. Too much of everything is just enough. Amnesia used to be my favorite word, but then I forgot it. Cold, adj.: When the politicians walk around with their hands in their own pockets. Look for it first where you'd most like to find it. Ship it. Why are you so hard to ignore? To make an enemy, do someone a favor. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure. You're not Dave. Who are you? The second best policy is dishonesty. Know thyself. If you need help, call the C.I.A. Batteries not included. Scintillation is not always identification for an auric substance. Blessed are the forgetful: for they get the better even of their blunders. On the carpool lane lane to Nirvana. "There is no spoon" -- The Matrix "Spoon!" -- The Tick I'll listen to reason when it comes out on CD Linux Geeks: Smart. Single. Sexy. Well, 2 out of 3 ain't bad. "You can't tell me what sucks!" -- Beavis Protect Your Rights: http://www.opendvd.org Protect Your Rights: http://www.opendvd.org Protect Your Rights: http://www.opendvd.org Protect Your Rights: http://www.opendvd.org Protect Your Rights: http://www.opendvd.org Protect Your Rights: http://www.opendvd.org Protect Your Rights: http://www.opendvd.org Protect Your Rights: http://www.opendvd.org Protect Your Rights: http://www.opendvd.org Protect Your Rights: http://www.opendvd.org Protect Your Rights: http://www.opendvd.org Protect Your Rights: http://www.opendvd.org Protect Your Rights: http://www.opendvd.org Protect Your Rights: http://www.opendvd.org Protect Your Rights: http://www.opendvd.org Protect Your Rights: http://www.opendvd.org Protect Your Rights: http://www.opendvd.org Protect Your Rights: http://www.opendvd.org Protect Your Rights: http://www.opendvd.org Protect Your Rights: http://www.opendvd.org Protect Your Rights: http://www.opendvd.org Protect Your Rights: http://gnu.org/philosophy/ucita.html Protect Your Rights: http://gnu.org/philosophy/ucita.html Protect Your Rights: http://gnu.org/philosophy/ucita.html Protect Your Rights: http://gnu.org/philosophy/ucita.html Protect Your Rights: http://gnu.org/philosophy/ucita.html Protect Your Rights: http://gnu.org/philosophy/ucita.html Protect Your Rights: http://gnu.org/philosophy/ucita.html Protect Your Rights: http://gnu.org/philosophy/ucita.html Protect Your Rights: http://gnu.org/philosophy/ucita.html Protect Your Rights: http://gnu.org/philosophy/ucita.html Protect Your Rights: http://gnu.org/philosophy/ucita.html Protect Your Rights: http://gnu.org/philosophy/ucita.html Protect Your Rights: http://gnu.org/philosophy/ucita.html Protect Your Rights: http://gnu.org/philosophy/ucita.html Protect Your Rights: http://gnu.org/philosophy/ucita.html Protect Your Rights: http://gnu.org/philosophy/ucita.html Protect Your Rights: http://gnu.org/philosophy/ucita.html Protect Your Rights: http://gnu.org/philosophy/ucita.html Protect Your Rights: http://gnu.org/philosophy/ucita.html Protect Your Rights: http://gnu.org/philosophy/ucita.html Protect Your Rights: http://gnu.org/philosophy/ucita.html Protect Your Rights: http://gnu.org/philosophy/ucita.html Protect Your Rights: http://gnu.org/philosophy/ucita.html Protect Your Rights: http://gnu.org/philosophy/ucita.html Protect Your Rights: http://gnu.org/philosophy/ucita.html Protect Your Rights: http://gnu.org/philosophy/ucita.html