I heart the 90's

Mom: You really don't like music by female artists, do you?

Me: In general, no, not really.

I bet you don't have any women in your music collection.

Actually...*flips through music collection*...Wilson Phillips, Brenda Carlisle...are you ashamed of me yet?

Of course not.

...Janet Jackson...

Okay, now I'm ashamed.

Reading into the NBC Today show

"You know—those one-pound chubs that have the opaque packaging around them."

"You want to touch it to make sure it's firm—you also want to touch it to make sure it's cool."