You're it

Instructions: Name five of life's simple pleasures that you like and tag five people to do the same. Try to be original and creative.

[try to be original and creative, eh? Well, if you say so. -ed]

1. I like donating at the blood bank. I sit in their blood giving chair and always quip "hey, where's the stirrups? *chuckle*" Then I'll wait for them to find my vein. Unbeknownst to the tech, however, I've replaced my human arm with a fake arm (real arm tucked behind front of shirt). When they try to pierce a strategically placed fake vein, green blood squirts all over them! "Oops, you'd better check my paperwork again!" says I. When they look, I've checked the "other" box under ethnicity and have scribbled into the blank: "Romulan"
   
2. I enjoy going around and telling people gross facts because I have low self esteem and hate to see other people happy. "Enjoying that peanut butter? I hope you know that there's insect legs in there." or "Hey, I love candy corn, too. Did you know that each delicious kernel is coated with an extract from a bug that is found in the jungle?"
   
3. Civil unrest.
   
4. Every once in awhile I'll dress up in my full guerrila regalia and go to the zoo and stand next to the sliverback pen. When the five year-olds walk by with their mothers I shout in my most idealistic voice, "sure, they have their own social heiarchy and engorged genetalia, but are they willing to open fire on innocent civilians during a coup de etat? Didn't think so!" Then the children cry and I give them sunflower seeds from the 25-cent sunflower seed dispenser to assauge their conscience for living such a protected life.
   
5. Fuzzy wuzzy kittens that I can hold in one hand.