Canadian Prime Minister Erik Axdahl

I was once elected the Canadian Prime Minister of Canada, eh?

After the parliamentary vote of no confidence upset—really, their feelings were quite hurt—the Canadian government, I decided that then was the time to make some world change.

I became aware of a loophole in Canadian law that allowed residents of other countries who lived within 500 miles of the Canadian border to be able to run for public office.  One downloaded PDF application form and three twonies later, my name was on the ballot.

Luckily for me, candidates’ names are put on the ballot in alphabetical order.  As a direct result of this, I obtained a 98.1% plurality in the election.  

After the Canadian Voting Machine sent me an e-mail informing me of my win, I was excited yet scared.  How would I lead these people?  How could I fill the shoes of such a lineage of Prime Ministers?  What would I wear on my first day?  

Luckily, the third question was easily answered via my prowess with world languages.  Prime is from the Latin primus, meaning main, and minister is from the English minister, meaning priest.  

I arrived at the Canadian border in my finest silk robes and pointiest Pope hat ready for work, but the border guards asked me to step out of the car, eh?

Evidently the Canadians realized their mistake (checking the box next to a candidate’s name actually registers a vote for that particular candidate), and quickly began a cover up.  Secretly and overnight, all of Canada re-did the election and this time Stephen Harper won (my name was put on the bottom of the ballot).  I was the victim of a conspiracy.  

And that is what I did on my winter vacation.