An Open Memo: The Reckoning

Dear tacit tabby cat sitting in my mother's living room chair,

Boy, that chair you're on sure looks comfortable. You know, you could let someone else have a shot at that thing for once.

Your winking at me tells me that you understand, but that you are tenacious in your position as Queen of the White Overstuffed Livingroom Chair. You do realize that chair, while looking young and available to your claim whatwith its new upholstery, has been in the family for a long time, don't you?

Now could be the perfect time to rekindle your [sitting-on] relationship with the radiator.

Or, instead of sitting on the human ass-sized cushion, you could sit atop the back, like the rest of your kind. Then I could sit in it with my new Homedics Shiatsu Massage Chair pad and you can resume your all-day sleeping and bath-taking activities uninterrupted.

Good, you're nodding your head yes—oh wait, there goes the paw. You're just giving your head a bath.

Umm...okay. I'll just walk over there, now.

Regards,
Master(?) Erik