Fondue party

I just want to fondue the crap out of something.

I want to get the biggest fondue sword ever, stick a piece of bread on it, and dip it in a giant vat of simmering cheese. But not too simmering, because then a gross skin will form on the cheese. That would ruin the whole fondue party.

I'm going to dress up real nice, but still look a little rugged at the same time. You'll look at me and go, "oh, he's going to ride a horse now or do something similarly rugged." But you'd be wrong, because BAM!...a hunk of steak on the end of my fondue sword in some scalding oil.

I'd have some sake with it too. Is that what you drink when you're fondueing? Or do you have wine? I'm pretty sure you have sake, but I could be wrong. But there's one thing I'm sure of, and that's WHAMMO!...a strawberry in the vat of hot chocolate.