"Getting Noticed," or "The Retching Damsel in Distress"
Warning: gross imagery impending!
Walking out of the tucked-away Nolte Center this afternoon with belly full of foodstuffs, I witnessed a young lass vomiting openly and wantonly upon the root of a tree. Honestly, I’ve never seen so much continuous liquid come from anyone’s mouth.
But that’s beside the point.
What is the social decorum when it comes to a vomiting member of the opposite sex? Note how I make the opposite sex distinction. I know that if I were to become positively and projectiletively ill in public—although I would probably be more discreet than the aforementioned soul—I would not want any girl to notice. At least I would want to believe that no girl saw me do that.
Therefore, I looked straight ahead and donned an expression of kind indifference. I think I made a convincing so-what-I-see-vomiting-all-the-time passerby. However, I did watch over my shoulder as I walked away to make sure she didn’t pass out or anything.
Walking out of the tucked-away Nolte Center this afternoon with belly full of foodstuffs, I witnessed a young lass vomiting openly and wantonly upon the root of a tree. Honestly, I’ve never seen so much continuous liquid come from anyone’s mouth.
But that’s beside the point.
What is the social decorum when it comes to a vomiting member of the opposite sex? Note how I make the opposite sex distinction. I know that if I were to become positively and projectiletively ill in public—although I would probably be more discreet than the aforementioned soul—I would not want any girl to notice. At least I would want to believe that no girl saw me do that.
Therefore, I looked straight ahead and donned an expression of kind indifference. I think I made a convincing so-what-I-see-vomiting-all-the-time passerby. However, I did watch over my shoulder as I walked away to make sure she didn’t pass out or anything.





"ma'am"
3 Comments:
Ohhhh weird...
Today has been the best day in a long time, I haven't been able to stop laughing. And of course you never disapoint. I think you handled it like a perfect gentleman. :) Though I'm not sure if I'd be eating there again ;)
Uh, I wasn't aware of a game night taking place this weekend. I won't be around all weekend but you'll have to talk to my roomies. Maybe they have something up their sleeves?
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