Bigote

I'm blessed with the faculties with which to grow fully-functional facial hair in a short frame of time. And when I say that, I don't mean sporadic hair patterns—nay, every follicle is in its place. Give me a week's notice and I can whip you up a respectable and full beard.

That is, if you like that kind of thing.

Where you = women.

There seems to be some contention among members of the opposite sex as to whether facial hair is desireable. Honestly, I think the real issue is that women don't like bad facial hair (read: any sort of creepy moustache or patchy beard) (read: Johnny Depp). If it works for the guy, then I think he's golden. No use refuting me, because I'm undeniably right.

Personally, I usually won't not shave for more than one or two days at most. If I'm going for the rough-around-the-edges look, I'll skip a day of shaving.

One week last year, however, some guys I know begged (read: pleaded) for me to grow a cool beard. So in a week I put together the style called "The General" (or "The Colonel" in some circles). That's when one has a line of beard going from the sideburns, up the side of the mouth, over the lip, and symmetry on the other side. It was kinda fun. However, my follicles secretly yeared for more of a challenge.

I think I'll stick to the rough-around-the-edges look, however.