Why Hello There Cough Hack Cough Wheeze Cough Cough

The elevator doors open and I step inside. Standing next to me is a very beautiful girl: squiggly blonde hair, probable back dimples...you know, the works.

Play it cool, Erik.

I lean against the rear of the elevator while bracing myself in a model-esque fasion.

Hair gently brushed out of eyes? Check. Genial expression? Check. Deoderant? Check.

She smiles and I return her token.

Then I breathe in some saliva down my windpipe and enter into that uncontrollable cough of expectoration that not even the Gods can stop.

Cross off one more prospective date from the woman list of the world.