Here Comes the Tickle Monster
If I were a movie star action-hero, I’d want my moniker to be “The Tickle Monster.”
Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t go around tickling people or anything. Rather, I’d have all the cool guns and stuff and the prowess towards manipulating technological devices. I choose this name mostly because of the fear it would strike into the heart of every villain in Minneapolis. I mean, who doesn’t have that twisted memory from childhood of your parents outside of your bedroom taunting, “Heeeere comes the TICKLE MONSTER!” while you jump up and down on your bed in an anxiety-stricken manner at the prospect of such a terrible, ticklish fate.
Or was that just my childhood?
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“Sir, I hate to interrupt your devilishly good world-takeover plans, but the TICKLE MONSTER has penetrated our defenses and he’s on his way to this very control room!”
“Eeeeee! Re-route all power from the laser to my electric blanket! Where’s my teddy? I surrender!”
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Plus, I’d have the best catch-phrase ever. Right before finishing off the villain, the camera would pan real close to my face and I’d grunt, “Tickle Tickle, M***** F*****.”
And that kind language would be okay because it’s an R-rated movie.
Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t go around tickling people or anything. Rather, I’d have all the cool guns and stuff and the prowess towards manipulating technological devices. I choose this name mostly because of the fear it would strike into the heart of every villain in Minneapolis. I mean, who doesn’t have that twisted memory from childhood of your parents outside of your bedroom taunting, “Heeeere comes the TICKLE MONSTER!” while you jump up and down on your bed in an anxiety-stricken manner at the prospect of such a terrible, ticklish fate.
Or was that just my childhood?
---------
“Sir, I hate to interrupt your devilishly good world-takeover plans, but the TICKLE MONSTER has penetrated our defenses and he’s on his way to this very control room!”
“Eeeeee! Re-route all power from the laser to my electric blanket! Where’s my teddy? I surrender!”
---------
Plus, I’d have the best catch-phrase ever. Right before finishing off the villain, the camera would pan real close to my face and I’d grunt, “Tickle Tickle, M***** F*****.”
And that kind language would be okay because it’s an R-rated movie.
"ma'am"
4 Comments:
You do this to me on purpose don't you?
Did you know that I think tickling is a form of abuse. Cruel and unusual punishment is the category it belongs under. It's horrible horrible stuff. It makes me cry.
But this was freaking hilarious, I loved it.
Joing us for HNT this week?
That's supposed to say joining...
I was/am in a hurry.
Yep. That is you, the Tickle Monster. Remember our 'tickling rampages' in Middlebrook, with you running after me and me screaming with fright. Those were good times...ticklish...yet good. :)
Great catch-phrase.
I'm VERY ticklish, so I'd be terrified of you.
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