Barry Marshall

This year’s Golden Calf Award for Kickass Awesomeness goes to recent Nobel Prize winner Dr. Barry Marshall.

Barry Marshall, along with his colleague Robin Warren, proved that stomach ulcers are caused by the bacterium Helicobacter pylori, not stress “you idiots,” (His words, not mine). Of course, this finding was initially viewed with skepticism by the scientific community.  I mean, how the heck can bacteria survive in the harsh environment of the stomach lining?  So you know what Barry did to prove them wrong?

He freaking swallowed the contents of a petri-dish containing a H. pylori culture—and subsequently got a stomach ulcer!

I mean, holy cow—this guy is awesome.  His discovery was pretty cool, too. But I think he deserves the Nobel Prize, and also the GCAKA, for being the best pirate ever as well.

Note: it is inconclusive as to if he is actually a pirate.  But empirical evidence of his actions likely point to the conclusion of privateering on the side.