My electric monkey runs on electricity

I got my first utility bill today, isn't that exciting? Xcel Energy graced my aluminum mail slot with a $30.86 statment for services rendered unto my Jiggawatt Moon Cratering Laser. Actually, my laser only used $2o.86 worth of electricity, but they decided to express their gratitude to me, a new customer, with a $10 "Service Processing Charge" for typing my name into their computer and hitting Enter.

They also included a handy dandy newsletter that has a Scratch 'n Sniff circle on it that smells like what they put in natural gas to make it smell like sulfur. Is it wrong that I'm now addicted to this smell, scratching every last square millimeter to release that sweet aroma, breathing deeply to fill my lungs with that delectable odor? I'm fairly certain that the only sounds during my lectures tomorrow will be the droning of the professors and the scratching and sniffing of a lone junkie in the back of the theatre.

I wonder what would happen if I were to strike a match right as I scratch the Scratch 'n Sniff. Would there be a fireball? Would my eyebrows at least get singed off?

Well?