Jean-Paul Sartre said "Life begins on the far side of despair."
He was probably referring to the capacity of our human spirits
that enables us to respond to despair by self-affirmation
and to channel our anxiety into creative projects-of-being.
But this epigram could also point to another capacity of our spirits,
the possibility of JOY, harmony, and peace beyond our Malaise.

     Once we have fully acknowledged our existential anxiety
(or however we experience our Existential Predicament),
we may discover thru internal trial-and-error how to 'move'
so that we can glimpse some light thru the darkness.
Below the darkness at the bottom of our spirits,
we may find JOY and fulfillment, peace and harmony.

     The preceding chapter claimed that our Existential Dilemma
is a problem so intractable that we cannot overcome it.
This is primarily because most of our efforts to manage our Predicament
are really attempts to push it back into the psychological category,
for instance, to treat existential anxiety as if it were simple fear.
Security operations will make us safe against objective dangers,
but they will not abolish our existential anxiety or insecurity.

     Another way we attempt to deal with our uncanny anxiety
is to repress it and try to submerge it under a torrent of activities.
This may work—at least temporarily—because it prevents us
from being aware of ourselves at the deepest levels.

     But neither security operations nor psychological distraction
leads to "glimpses of JOY and fulfillment".
In fact, only after we give up trying to cope with our Malaise
as if it were a psychological problem of mind or emotions
can we open ourselves to the possibility of "Existential Freedom".

     First, we must become thoroly convinced of our deep caughtness
in existential anxiety, guilt, depression, despair, loneliness, etc.
Without a deep appreciation of our Malaise as a problem of spirit,
our attempted solutions will be superficial and ineffective.

     Second, we have to abandon all inappropriate techniques:
methods that do work for managing psychological problems
but which do not work against our Existential Predicament.
(Besides anxiety turning itself into instances of fear,
here are some of the other masquerades:
Existential loneliness disguises itself as the need for love.
Existential depression colors itself like psychological depression.
Existential insecurity hides behind emotional or physical insecurity.
Existential guilt pretends to be pangs of moral conscience.)

SPIRITUALITY FOR HUMANISTS: SIX CAPACITIES OF OUR HUMAN SPIRITS by JAMES PARK 21

    Perhaps the only way to abandon the psychological techniques
is to try each of them earnestly and thoroly.
Maybe only after protracted struggle with our Existential Predicament
as if it were a psychological problem (with an obvious cause and cure)
will we come to the point of existential surrender,
which may enable us to glimpse existential JOY and fulfillment.

     Existential surrender is an interior shift within our spirits.
In this spiritual change, we all begin as infants, even late in life.
Like a baby learning to use its hands and feet,
at first we only fumble around in spirit, groping in the dark,
until, almost by accident, we compose a posture of being
that opens our spirits for existential release.

     When we are most sensitive and tuned-in to our spirits,
probably struggling with anxiety, despair, and depression,
we may catch a glimmer of peace, hope, and JOY.
Somewhere in the dark, a door opens,
and we turn our spirits toward the light, hoping for another glimpse.

     Perhaps it will take literally years to train our spirits
how to remain open for these moments of peace and fulfillment.
But the Existential Freedom that results may be worth
the suffering of spirit we must endure before we find peace and JOY.
After liberation, we will experience and describe our Freedom
as release from our Existential Malaise, however we felt it.

     Existential JOY reverses existential depression:
In existential depression, we were depressed without reason.
In existential JOY, we are joyful beyond cause.

     But this surprising JOY does not result from insensitivity.
Rather, we notice the new inner JOY when we tune-in to ourselves.
The capacity of spirit that enabled us to feel our Existential Malaise
enables us to notice when our spirits have been touched by JOY.

     Such JOY is not a response to objective conditions in the world.
But happiness—JOY's twin on the psychological level—
has everything to do with worldly circumstances.
Our hearts are filled with happiness when life treats us well.
We can name hundreds of situations that contribute to our happiness.
But existential JOY is not dependent on any such conditions.
In fact, even in the midst of deep suffering and misery,
we can experience JOY—solid, given, inexplicable.
And it is also possible to have happiness and JOY simultaneously.

     The gift of JOY is so powerful that we easily abandon all else.
Existential JOY is the pearl of great price
that makes us want to sell everything we own in order to possess it.
But there is no price we can pay to obtain this JOY.
We can only open our spirits so that the JOY comes.

SPIRITUALITY FOR HUMANISTS: SIX CAPACITIES OF OUR HUMAN SPIRITS by JAMES PARK 22

    Existential fulfillment can be comprehended in a similar way
—against the background of ordinary fulfillments.
Almost all of us strive to accomplish or create something.
When we finish a project, we feel a sense of fulfillment.
That is the root meaning of the word: a longing has been satisfied.

     Existential fulfillment feels like ordinary accomplishments,
but it comes independent of any objective achievements.
We call this surprising inner satisfaction "fulfillment"
only because language must draw its meanings from common experience.
But existential fulfillment transcends all ordinary fulfillments.
And it comes only when we give up striving to fulfill ourselves.

     In order to seek fulfillment, we must first notice our emptiness
—a hollowness and Void so profound and so unfillable
that nothing we can do with our 700,000 hours of life will fill it.
We can cover over our existential emptiness, but we cannot cure it.

     After we recognize our inner Void and give up trying to fill it,
we may notice glimpses of fulfillment that happen spontaneously.
Having seen the glimmer of non-situational fullness,
we may grope and fumble within our spirits
until we find how to open ourselves again to existential fulfillment.

     It is hard to separate good feelings on the psychological level
from existential fulfillment on the level of spirit.
But once we have begun to disentangle heart, mind, and spirit,
we should be able to distinguish with ever greater clarity
the intelligible, objective fulfillments of ordinary life
—which we have worked hard to achieve—
from the surprising existential fulfillment,
which comes when we simply open our spirits.

     As we become better attuned with this existential fulfillment,
we learn thru experience how to orient our spirits
in order to expand the moments of fullness and harmony.
Discovering how to enter more fully into Existential Freedom
is a little like landing an aircraft after dark, in the fog.
Like a pilot, we have no clear visual cues,
but we can ride down a radio beam.
This 'locator signal' indicates when we are on the correct path,
when we are flying too high or too low
and when we have turned too far to one side or the other.

     In pursuing our internal quest for existential fulfillment,
we need an inner sensitivity,
a 'locator signal' that will tell when we are on the right path.
Then by groping movements of spirit,
we can seek to increase our moments of JOY and fulfillment
and to reduce our moments of existential anxiety and despair.

SPIRITUALITY FOR HUMANISTS: SIX CAPACITIES OF OUR HUMAN SPIRITS by JAMES PARK 23

     Here are some questions for spiritual self-examination
that may help us to determine for ourselves
how far we have advanced along the path of spirit
that leads away from our Existential Malaise
and toward existential JOY and fulfillment.

 1.  Have I moved beyond trying to tune-out or cover-up
my existential anxiety, guilt, depression, and despair?

 2.  Have I left behind the 'security blankets'
I formerly used to keep my Existential Malaise 'under wraps'?

 3.  Have I been gripped by existential anxiety to such a depth
that I am convinced that it is not a psychological problem
but an essential constituent of my human spirit?

 4.  Have I tried all the psychological methods
that cure conflicts, fears, worries, and troubles
and found them ineffective against my Existential Dilemma?

 5.  Have I glimpsed JOY not as the result of desensitization
but precisely when I am most fully a person of spirit?

 6.  Do I have a sense of 'how I must move' in order to allow
 these glimpses of JOY and fulfillment to happen again?

 7.  Do I find that I have been released from striving, tension,
 the need for success, recognition, achievement, etc.
—my characteristics when I was still trying to fulfill myself?

 8.  Have I left behind my old values, meanings, purposes, and projects?

 9.  Has my life begun to re-shape itself
with existential peace and JOY as my condition of spirit?

10.  Have I experienced 're-tuning' my spirit so that I come
more fully and consistently into peace, fulfillment, and JOY?

11.  Is it easy to tune-in to the fulfillment deep in my spirit?

12.  Do I find myself dwelling in JOY and peace most of the time,
sensing my fulfillment as I used to notice my emptiness?

13.  Have I focused my Existential Freedom around specific tasks,
ways of organizing my daily life that keep my spirit full of JOY?

14.  Does my orientation of spirit in response to Existential Freedom
come before any and all other commitments of my life?

15.  Do I feel confident enough in my spiritual Freedom
that I want to help others discover this release for themselves?

16.  Have I found meaningful ways to help others
to open themselves to Existential Freedom?

Our Existential Predicament: Loneliness, Depression, Anxiety, & Death.
This book by James Park contains the following chapters:
existential loneliness, depression, absurdity, meaninglessness,
the existential Void, existential anxiety: angst, existential splitting,
existential guilt, despair, insecurity, and ontological anxiety.
Each chapter also explores opening ourselves for released from our Malaise.

SPIRITUALITY FOR HUMANISTS: SIX CAPACITIES OF OUR HUMAN SPIRITS by JAMES PARK 24

The views and opinions expressed in this page are strictly those of the page author.
The contents of this page have not been reviewed or approved by the University of Minnesota.