Does love necessarily arise
from pre-existing needs?
Or can we love beyond the wishes, expectations,
and yearnings
we had before any real relationships began?
This talk will explore seven powerful preconceived
needs:
(1) security, (2) approval, (3) romance,
(4) sex, (5) affection & intimacy,
(6) communication & companionship, and
(7) relationship structure.
As we become more Authentic (whole, autonomous,
self-creating),
we fulfill these prior needs within ourselves
or we transcend them.
Then we can love on the basis of emergent,
unexpected
values we discover in new relationships
rather than trying to satisfy needs we
bring to relationships.
OUTLINE:
Introduction: Pre-Existing Needs vs. Emergent
Values
1. arise within the isolated self.---------------1.
arise in actual relationships.
2. many possible satisfiers.-------------------2.
only one relationship can provide.
I. Seven Pre-Existing Needs and the Corresponding
Emergent Values
1. Security & the
Need to Be Needed
2. Approval
3. Romance
4. Sex
5. Affection & Intimacy
6. Communication &
Companionship
7. Relationship Structure
II. Love as a Necessity vs. Love as a Luxury
III. I-It Instrumental Use vs. I-Thou Unique Encounter
IV. When Needing Turns into Using
V. What to Do about Needing Love
James Park is an existential
philosopher
and advocate of loving beyond prior needs.
This presentation is based on "Loving
without Needing:
Seven
Preconceived Needs and How to Transcend Them",
which is the 4th chapter of New
Ways of Loving by James Park.
Return to Top 40 Sermon Subjects by James Park.
Return to the UNITARIAN-UNIVERSALISM page.
Return to the beginning of this home page:
An
Existential Philosopher's Museum.