ROMANTIC LOVE IS A HOAX!

EMOTIONAL PROGRAMMING TO 'FALL IN LOVE'

SYNOPSIS:

    How can we transcend our romantic delusions and fantasy feelings
and build our loving relationships on reality?

    Romantic love may be the most pervasive myth of Western culture.
Romance is a cultural invention, not a natural phenomenon.
We have been so deeply indoctrinated into the romantic myth
that we have no awareness of the process of emotional programming
that created our romantic responses.
Popular culture provides the main ways we learn how to 'fall in love'.
Movies, television, popular songs, novels, & magazines
all train our feelings into the wonderful delusion of romance.

    Our romantic games would be harmless if everyone knew
that romantic love is a fantasy feeling.
But while still under the influence of romantic illusions,
some people make the life-altering mistake of getting married.
Perhaps we guard against
every form of political or religious mythology,
but what about the most potentially-harmful myth---romantic love?

    Religious indoctrination demonstrates emotional programming.
Is 'being saved' the religious equivalent of 'falling in love'?
We are taught what emotions to expect---then we try to create them.

    If romantic love is a hoax, what should we do?
Real information can replace romantic illusions.
We can love on the basis of who we choose to be
rather than trying to reproduce romance as seen on television.

OUTLINE:    

I. Romantic Love was Invented
800 Years Ago by the French Troubadours.

II. 'Falling in Love' as Temporary Insanity.

III. Love & Marriage: Fantasy & Facts.

IV. How Did We Learn the Romantic Response?

V. Emotional Programming: Romantic & Religious.

VI. Good-bye to Illusions, Hello to Reality.

TEXT:

"Romantic Love is a Hoax!
Emotional Programming to 'Fall in Love' " .

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SYNOPSIS:

    Jealousy arises in 'loving' relationships because of three factors:
(1) comparison, (2) competition, and (3) the fear of being replaced.
If we become more autonomous and self-creating,
these three features of relationships become less significant
and hence the passion of jealousy becomes less likely.

    However, within ordinary, possessive relationships, jealousy is normal:
If we find ourselves replaced, supplanted, traded-in for a better model,
we naturally feel a tremendous sense of loss, anger, grief, & betrayal.

    This bitter feeling of hurt and hostility called "jealousy"
can become one of the most powerful obsessions of human life.
And yet, this emotion is a social product—with deep cultural roots.
If we have learned how to feel jealous, can we unlearn this response?

    If we are loved for the unique persons we are becoming,
then comparison with rivals diminishes.
And when we are no longer in competition with other women or men,
we become less vulnerable to feeling jealous.
If we become irreplaceable in our relationships, then jealousy disappears.

    Thus, the basic way to prevent jealousy
is to become unique and irreplaceable persons.
And becoming more Authentic may be the best way
to transcend the threat of being replaced by potential rivals.

OUTLINE:

I. THE DYNAMICS OF JEALOUSY

A. Which Long-Distance Service Will He Use?

B. The Comparison Game.

II. PREVENTING JEALOUSY BY BECOMING IRREPLACEABLE

A. Replaceability—Being Better Means Being the Same.

B. How We Might Become Singular and Irreplaceable.

III. AUTHENTIC LOVE EMERGES FROM SINGULARITY

IV. WHAT TO DO ABOUT JEALOUSY

V. SUMMARY

TEXT: 

"Romantic Jealousy:
Cause and Prevention"

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