Jealousy arises in 'loving' relationships
because of three factors:
(1) comparison, (2) competition, & (3) the fear of being
replaced.
If we become more autonomous and self-creating,
these three features of relationships become less
significant
and hence the passion of jealousy becomes less
likely.
However, within ordinary, possessive
relationships, jealousy is normal:
If we find ourselves replaced, supplanted,
traded-in
for a better model,
we naturally feel a tremendous sense of loss, anger,
grief, & betrayal.
This bitter feeling of hurt and
hostility we call "jealousy"
can become one of the most powerful obsessions
of human life.
And yet, this emotion is a social product—with
deep cultural roots.
If we have learned how to feel jealous,
can we unlearn this response?
If we are loved for the unique
persons we are becoming,
then comparison with rivals diminishes.
And when we are no longer in competition with other
women or men,
we become less vulnerable to feeling jealous.
If we become irreplaceable in our relationships,
then jealousy disappears.
Thus the basic way to prevent
jealousy
is to become unique and irreplaceable persons.
And becoming more Authentic may be the best way
to transcend the threat of being replaced by potential
rivals.
Resources:
Seven books exploring the dynamics of jealousy:
Best Books on Jealousy
.
If you would like to read a three-page article on this theme, to go:
Romantic Jealousy: Cause and Prevention
.
Some other Internet resources on Jealousy:
Resources for Dealing with Jealousy
.
Discussion facilitator:
James Park is an existential philosopher living in Stevens Square.
This discussion is based on Chapter 5 of his most popular book:
New Ways of Loving: How Authenticity Transforms Relationships
:
http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/NWL73.html