Short course description:
Explore new perspectives
for creating
more open, free, & growing relationships.
In four sessions we will explore 8 themes:
(1) recovering
from romantic illusions;
(2)
becoming more Authentic;
(3) maintaining
freedom in love;
(4) transcending
pre-existing needs;
(5) preventing jealousy by becoming unique;
(6) becoming open to loving more than one person;
(7) reinventing sex;
(8) outgrowing conventional masculinity and
femininity.
Our resource for
this seminar will be New
Ways of Loving
by James Park, these 8 chapters available in
class for $10.
Or you can buy the complete book in the sixth edition, 2007, for $35.
James Park is an existential philosopher and the leader of this seminar.
One-page course description:
New Ways
of Loving :
How Authenticity
Transforms Relationships
This fresh look at loving
relationships
challenges many long-accepted notions about
love.
Do you agree with these new perspectives?
1. Romantic love is a cultural invention, not a natural phenomenon.
2. Our loving relationships improve as we become more autonomous.
3. Love is best when it
arises from free choice
rather than
from preconceived patterns, expectations, &
obligations.
4. When the purpose of
love is the satisfaction
of pre-existing needs,
the relationship is likely to become possessive,
using, & jealous.
5. Jealousy is a
learned emotion (based
on comparison,
competition, and the fear of being replaced),
but we can
transcend it by becoming more Authentic
(singular, irreplaceable).
6. If we are immune to jealousy, we can love more than one person.
7. Our imprinted sexual responses deeply affect our relationships.
8. We will love better
if we move
beyond our original gender-personalities.
Each of the four weeks,
we will discuss two chapters from
New
Ways of Loving: How Authenticity Transforms Relationships
.
I. From Romantic
Illusions to Authentic Loving
Ch. 1 Romantic
Love is a Hoax!
Emotional Programming to 'Fall in Love'
Ch. 2 Loving
from Authenticity
II. Loving Freely
without Needing
Ch. 3 Loving
in Freedom:
Choice & Flexibility instead of Security & Obligation
Ch. 4 Loving
without Needing
:
Seven Pre-Existing Needs and How to Transcend Them
III. Multiple Loving
without Jealousy
Ch. 5 Loving
without Jealousy
:
As We Become More Authentic, Jealousy Disappears
Ch. 6 Multiple
Loving
: Open Relationships Beyond Jealousy
IV. Loving Beyond
Sex-Scripts & Gender-Personalities
Ch. 7 Loving
Beyond Sex
:
Transcending Our Imprinted Sex-Scripts
Ch. 8 Masculinity/Femininity
:
Loving Beyond Our Gender-Personalities
These 8 chapters cost
$10.00—available at the first
meeting.
Or you can buy the whole book in the sixth edition—2007—for $35.
James Park is an existential philosopher and
author of the text.
PLACE: (where would be
best for you?)
DATE & TIME: (when would be best for you?)
FEE: FREE OF CHARGE (unless the meeting room
costs something)
{Watch the space above
for details.
Or put yourself on the e-mailing list to be
informed when
New Ways of Loving
will be offered in the Twin Cities:
Write to: James Park, e-mail: PARKx032@TC.UMN.EDU
In the subject line write: NWL List.
If you have suggestions about time and place,
please include those in your e-mail.
And tell your friends about this class.}
Syllabus for distant learners:
If
you cannot attend the New
Ways of Loving class,
you can design your own study program.
Besides reading New
Ways of Loving itself (the text for this course),
you might decide to delve more deeply into any
of the themes
by reading other books reviewed in Love Bibliographies,
which are listed with the chapters below.
Distant learners have the option of exploring
five additional themes not included in the face-to-face
class:
9. Having children should be a choice rather than an assumption.
10. It is possible to
have wonderful loving relationships
without getting married.
11. Some relationships are improved if the lovers do not live together.
12. Relationship journals can improve communication.
13. Love will be
liberated if we transcend
existential loneliness and depression.
The
following 13 themes are
the same as the 13 chapters of
New
Ways of Loving: How Authenticity Transforms Relationships
.
Distant learners do not need to follow the order
of the book.
You can begin your independent study with any
theme.
When responding by e-mail,
please separate your comments into the following
themes,
using the same numbering system 1-13,
so that they can be posted in an orderly way
with responses from the instructor.
Chapter
1 Romantic Love is a Hoax!
Emotional
Programming to 'Fall in Love'.
What is romantic love? Where did it come
from?
Where does it go? Is it a fantasy that
does more harm than good?
Resources:
1. Romantic Love Bibliography—The Best Critical Books .
2. The
Romantic Love Test: How Do We Know If We Are in Love?
This test includes what is perhaps the
first explicit definition of romantic love
—in
the form of 26 defining features of the phenomenon: the A-Z of romance.
3. Outline of a presentation on The Romantic Love Test .
4. Outline of a presentation unpacking the dynamics of romantic love .
5. The first page of
Chapter 1 of New
Ways of Loving:
"Romantic
Love
is a Hoax! Emotional Programming to 'Fall in Love'"
.
6. An electronic
magazine article summarizing
this chapter:
"Romantic
Love is a Hoax! Emotional Programming to 'Fall in Love' "
Chapter
2 Loving from Authenticity.
Moving from conformity toward greater
Authenticity.
The impact of Authentic Existence on
loving relationships,
which is the theme of this whole course.
Resources:
1. Authenticity Bibliography .
2. Outline of a
presentation entitled
"Becoming
More Authentic: The Positive Side of Existentialism".
3. Course description
for another course
called
"Becoming
More Authentic: The Positive Side of Existentialism"
4. Authenticity Test
(embedded in the
first two chapters of
Becoming More Authentic: The Positive
Side of Existentialism
by James Park).
5. The table of
contents of Becoming
More Authentic,
which will lead you to the first pages
of several chapters of that book.
6. The first pages of
Chapter 2 of New
Ways of Loving:
"Loving
from Authenticity"
.
Chapter
3 Loving in Freedom:
Choice
& Flexibility instead of Security & Obligation.
Are freedom and commitment necessarily
at odds?
To what degree have we used love as
a means of security?
What part does duty and obligation
play in our relationships?
Resources:
1. The first page of
Chapter 3 of New
Ways of Loving:
"Loving
in Freedom: Choice & Flexibility instead of Security &
Obligation"
.
2. A cyber-sermon based
on this chapter:
Loving in
Freedom .
Chapter
4 Loving without Needing:
Seven
Pre-Existing Needs and How to Transcend Them.
Is love always based on pre-existing
needs?
Can we satisfy our own needs instead
of using others?
What needs are people usually trying
to fulfill in their relationships?
Might we be able to transcend our prior
needs?
Is it possible to love without clinging?
Resources:
1. Outline for a presentation on prior needs as a basis for love .
2. Outline for a
presentation called
"Growing
in Love: Becoming Less Dependent and More Authentic in 21 Ways"
.
3. A small book
exploring all forms of
dependency:
Growing
in Love: 21 Ways to Become Less
Dependent & More Authentic
.
4. The first page of
Chapter 4 of New
Ways of Loving:
"Loving
without Needing:
Seven
Pre-Existing Needs and How to Transcend Them"
Chapter
5 Loving without Jealousy:
As
We Become More Authentic, Jealousy Disappears.
How natural is the feeling of jealousy?
What are the root causes of jealousy?
Does becoming more Authentic move us
beyond the fear of being replaced?
Resources:
2. Outline of a presentation called "Romantic Jealousy: Cause and Prevention" .
3. The first pages of
Chapter 5 of New
Ways of Loving:
"Loving
without Jealousy:
As
We Become More Authentic, Jealousy Disappears"
.
4. A three-page on-line
article on jealousy:
Romantic
Jealousy: Cause and Prevention
.
Chapter
6 Multiple Loving:
Open
Relationships Beyond Jealousy.
For most people open relationships lead
to jealousy.
But if we have become immune to jealousy,
what do we think and feel about loving
more than one person at a time?
Resources:
1. Multiple Loving Bibliography .
2. The first pages of
Chapter 6 of New
Ways of Loving:
"Multiple
Loving: Open Relationships Beyond Jealousy"
.
Chapter
7 Loving Beyond Sex:
Transcending
Our Imprinted Sex-Scripts.
Where did our sexual fantasies come from?
How have our imprinted responses affected
our relationships?
In what ways does sex help and hinder
loving relationships?
Resources:
1. The Sex-Script Hypothesis—The Best Books .
2. Imprinted Sexual Fantasies:
A New Key for Sexology
This is a book-in-process by James Park.
The available parts:
Outline
for Imprinted Sexual Fantasies (3 pages).
Synopses
of the 11 chapters (one page for each chapter).
So far the only printed version of the
contents of this book
is the chapter on sex from New
Ways of Loving,
which is resource # 5 below.
3. Outline of a
presentation entitled
"The
Sex-Script Hypothesis: Imprinted Sexual Fantasies"
.
4. Outline for a
presentation entitled
"Variations
of Sex and Gender: Six Phenomena Frequently Confused"
.
5. The first pages of
Chapter 7 of New
Ways of Loving:
"Loving
Beyond Sex: Transcending Our Imprinted Sex-Scripts"
.
6. A cyber-sermon
explaining
the concept of sex-scripts:
Sources
of Sexual Fantasies
.
Chapter
8 Masculinity/Femininity:
Loving
Beyond Our Gender-Personalities.
What should we do about our original
gender-personalities?
Resources:
2. Outline of a presentation exploring the dynamics of gender .
3. The first page of
Chapter 8 of New
Ways of Loving:
"Masculinity/Femininity:
Loving Beyond Our Gender-Personalities"
.
Chapter
9 Why Have (More) Children?
We now have the power to control our
reproduction.
What are our basic reasons for
and against having (more) children?
What part should reason
play in
human reproduction?
Resources:
1. The Decision to Have Children—The Best Books .
2. The first page of
Chapter 9 of New
Ways of Loving:
"Why
Have (More) Children?"
. This page lists
about 30 reasons for
having children
and about 10 reasons against.
Chapter
10 Loving without Marrying.
Do we decide to get marriage or
do we just assume it?
Twelve common causes of wedlock.
What is the future of marriage in our
culture?
The pros and cons of the married life-style.
Resources:
1. Traditional Marriage —Best Critical Books .
2. Best Books on Relationship Contracts .
3. Designer Marriage:
Write Your Own
Relationship Contract.
This is a book-in-process by James Park.
Currently available:
Outline
for Designer Marriage
,
which includes the 28 basic Questions
(and a few additional sub-questions)
that should be answered by anyone creating
a relationship contract.
4. Outline of a presentation on relationship contracts .
5. The first pages of
Chapter 10 of New
Ways of Loving:
"Loving
without Marrying"
.
Chapter
11 Living in Separate Households.
Are relationships sometimes improved
when the loving people do not live
together?
Resource:
1. The first pages of
Chapter 11 of New
Ways of Loving:
"Living
in Separate Households"
.
Resource:
1. All four pages of
Chapter 12 from New
Ways of Loving:
"Keeping
Relationship Journals"
.
Chapter
13 Loving in Existential Freedom.
Becoming more Authentic profoundly affects
loving relationships.
But a special form of Authenticity goes
beyond that:
freedom from our Existential Predicament—"Existential
Freedom".
When we are released from our inner loneliness,
insecurity, and depression,
we are empowered to love better than
ever.
Resources:
1. Books on Existential Spirituality .
2. Our Existential
Predicament:
Loneliness,
Depression, Anxiety, & Death by
James Park.
This book is the most comprehensive exploration
of our Existential Malaise
and its solution. Parts available on
the internet:
Outline
of Our Existential Predicament
.
This outline will lead you to additional
information,
including the first page of each of 13
chapters.
3. Outline of a
presentation entitled
"Introducing
Existential Spirituality"
.
4. Outline of a
presentation entitled
"Our
Existential Predicament and its Solution"
.
5. Outline of a
presentation entitled
"Loneliness
of Spirit: Deeper than the Reach of Love"
.
6. Outline of a
presentation entitled
"Existential
Guilt: Deeper than Morality"
.
7. Outline of a
presentation entitled
"Existential
Anxiety: Angst: Being Afraid of the Nothing"
.
8. Outline of a
presentation entitled
"Being
Depressed in Spirit: Deeper than Psychological Depression"
.
9. Outline of a
presentation entitled
"An
Existential Understanding of Death:
A
Phenomenology of Ontological Anxiety"
.
10. First pages of
Chapter 13 of New
Ways of Loving:
"Loving
in Existential Freedom"
.
James Park is the facilitator
of this class.
He is an existential philosopher and
author of New Ways of Loving.
Anyone may join the distant learning
dialog at any time.
Send your comments and questions to James
Park:
PARKx032@TC.UMN.EDU
He will respond to all communications.
Some questions and his replies
will be selected to be posted along with
this course description.
Links to these Questions & Answers
will appear last
in each of the above 13 sections of the
distant learning option.
Pass
the word to other
internet friends
who might be interested in exploring
new
ways of loving.
Return to the Minnesota Free University home page.
Return to the LOVE page.
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of this home page:
An
Existential Philosopher's Museum